Armed With Art

You can’t go to a health club these days and not see a plethora of tattoos on various body parts. But frankly, we’re bored with the same old Guns N’ Roses logos on biceps, rosebuds on breasts and tribal graphics decorating ankles.

OK, there’s our friend with a tattoo of an old manual typewriter on his upper arm, but that’s about the most creativity we’ve seen in a while.

But recently one of our Social Climes spies spotted a man who decided to take tattoo art one step further.

“I saw these images on his arm,” she said, “and I kept staring at them, trying to get a better look. Finally I leaned over and said, ‘Is that a real tattoo?’ And he said, ‘Yes. Those are my favorite chairs.’ ”

Writing Exercise

Are you addicted to exercise? Take this quick quiz:

1. When you can’t go your usual hour on the StairMaster because people are waiting and they’re yelling at you to get off, do you:

a) Hop right down and apologize for your selfish behavior?

b) Snap your towel at them and hiss, “Get back, infidel! I am Aerobica, StairMistress of the Universe!”

2. If you get to the gym and find it closed, do you:

a) Chalk it up to bad timing and go get a frozen yogurt?

b) Smash the window with a brick and work out anyway?

If you answered “b” to both questions, there’s a new product just for you. The Zeitgeist Fitness Journal ($29.95, 800-788-8777) is a notebook-style diary with sections devoted to nutrition, body profile, fitness goals, cardiovascular training and weight training--everything you need to precisely chart each minute aspect of your fitness program.

No more scrawling notes like “trdmll--30min + chst & shldrs” on your calendar. Now you’ll know precisely how each and every drop of sweat was accounted for.

And for those of you who are too busy crunching your abs to consult a dictionary, Zeitgeist translates as “the spirit of the age.”

Price Is Negotiable

Cruising through Century City the other day, we heard this exchange between a passerby and actors promoting their comedy group.

“Want some free tickets to an improv show?”

“No.”

“Wanna buy some?”