Continuing the Friendship

Experts offer the following tips on how to continue a friendship with a colleague who becomes the boss.

1. Don’t expect to gossip as frequently about other colleagues or managers. If your boss does confide in you, honor the trust and don’t repeat the information.

2. Don’t flaunt “special access” to the boss. (In other words, exchange Christmas gifts at home, not in the office.)

3. If you and your friend were seen together every day in the company cafeteria, don’t quit going to lunch together. Do, however, make an effort to invite other colleagues to join you. You can still have private lunches, just don’t do it every day.

4. Talk openly about the awkwardness of the situation and try to treat it with a sense of humor whenever possible.

5. Don’t try to leverage friendship for special favors. It will put your boss/friend in a difficult position and will only encourage resentment from co-workers.

6. Be open about sincere praise for others, but don’t use your boss to punish colleagues you think are problematic. This can only backfire.