Terminally Cliched Prose Fills ‘Contents’

Robert Stoccardo’s meandering and self-indulgent monologue “Contents Under Pressure” at the NoHo Studios tells a tale of drugs, disease and waiting tables in plague-time New York. The author-actor seems bent on convincing us of his concern for others, but you come away sure only that he should never pen his own material again.

Although it’s presented by the otherwise redoubtable organization known as Artists Confronting AIDS, this isn’t really a piece about the disease. Not only do we wait 35 minutes for the first mention of anything AIDS-related, but when the anecdotes do come, they’re tired and patronizing.

Deadly viruses notwithstanding, the cliches alone could kill you. Consider Stoccardo on his dead dog Rocco: “The purity of his love was so centering for me.” Regarding a hooker friend: “That prostitute was, in many ways, a wonderful and innocent person.” To an AIDS baby: “You are purity and innocence and I will not let the pain of this disease be your own.” And last but not least, regarding people with AIDS: “They’re all so heroic and strong.” Oh honey, get a writer.

* “Contents Under Pressure,” NoHo Studios, 5215 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood. Sundays, 3 p.m. Ends Dec. 19. $10. (213) 969-2445. Running time: 1 hour, 25 minutes.