When It Comes to Religion, America Has Seen the Lite

The summer before I entered eighth grade, the teacher telephoned the parents of her prospective students to ask about our interests.

My dad told her that in my spare time I liked to read sports magazines “and the Bible.” He felt obliged later to tell me of their conversation so I wouldn’t say, “Who, me?” in case the teacher ever mentioned that she knew I liked to read the Bible.

Dad’s white lie was no big deal to me, but I always thought, How strange . If you’re going to fib, why bring the Bible into it? It’s not that we were sacrilegious; rather, we just never were a regular churchgoing or Bible-reading family.

I recalled that anecdote after reading a recent Newsweek article about the religious habits of Americans. It pointed out that survey after survey has described America as “the most religious nation in the industrialized West.”

However, the article pointed out that new, more in-depth surveys debunk that, suggesting that Americans tell pollsters they’re religious but really aren’t. Newsweek cited one new survey of 4,000 people that concluded that only 19% of American adults regularly practice their religion. Another 30% were considered completely secular and 51% were either “modestly” or “nominally” religious.

Gosh, I’m shocked.

Bill Seery is a marriage and family counselor at a Tustin clinic that advertises itself as Christian. A former divinity graduate student and evangelical Christian, Seery estimates that up to 70% of his patients are Christians.

He isn’t surprised at the disparity between people who say they believe in God and those who actively practice religion. “It sounds like classic denial,” he says. “I see that our whole culture is in a values crisis and that, religious or non-religious, the personal character of our people is waning, and we’ll lie. We’ll say things that are not true and not even flinch, and that’s a terrible symptom. If someone says, ‘Do you go to church?’ and you say yes, and you don’t, whoever they are, they’re lying. They’re going down the road of self-delusion, and that’s scary to me.”

I asked Seery how to square people’s behaviors with the reported 90% who say they believe in God. “I think people retreat to an awareness that there is something higher than themselves,” he says. But when it comes to the detail work, they’re less committed, if at all.

“At one time, I think we were a religious country, and then we began to make compromises,” Seery says. “The more we’ve made, the more damage it’s done.”

Is this, then, a country that still believes in God? “I think it is leaving us quickly,” Seery says. “It used to be we assumed He exists; now a lot of people wish He exists or wonder if He exists. They’re more agnostic or they’ve given it up. And I think the more we look elsewhere for our solutions, the less we really care whether He exists or not.”

Even among his devout patients, Seery finds them grappling with their faith and their actions. They know the Bible inside-out but can’t explain why they’re drawn to cocaine, for example.

“I think probably the biggest thing that religious people struggle with is that they see what they’re doing is not right and it bothers them and they’re trying to find out why they’re doing it. They really are (devout), but somehow what they learned never got hooked in to their emotional system and self-discipline.”

When it comes to people misrepresenting their real interest in religion, some might say, “No harm, no foul.” What’s the big deal? It gave Ronald Reagan and other myth-makers something to say in speeches.

For starters, how about the impact of millions of people who dropped out of organized religion because they didn’t want to join in on what they saw as hypocrisy? How about the millions who might have enjoyed the “church experience,” but felt uncomfortable on Sunday morning because they thought they were out of step with the congregation members who wouldn’t ‘fess up to their own doubts about religion? How about each new generation that hears pieties about religion but sees tax cheats, adulterers and scoundrels abounding?

Turns out that lots of those folks who called others heretics may be ones themselves.

It’s no coincidence that many churches in recent years, trying to lure disenchanted Baby Boomers back, have toned down the “religion” and talked up the “feel-good” aspects. I call it Religion Lite, but it works.

Maybe if we finally quit pretending we’re still as religious as the Pilgrims in Plymouth Colony, the country can find a way to address religion more credibly.

We Americans love to deceive ourselves. Maybe because we’re so good at it.

But this question occurs: If we believe in God as much as we say we do, do we really think we can get away with the deception forever?

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.