RAM NOTEBOOK / MIKE REILLEY : Terrell Reflects on Ex-Teammate’s Death

By Wednesday morning, Ram safety Pat Terrell was still trying to sort out why it happened. Twenty-four hours after Houston Oiler defensive tackle Jeff Alm apparently killed himself, Terrell was still trying to understand why his former Notre Dame teammate would do such a thing.

“This is hard for me to say,” Terrell said. “But when you lose a friend in an accident, it puts things in perspective. But when you lose a friend the way I lost Jeff, it’s a different feeling. More of a frustrating feeling. You feel sickened by the loss.”

Alm apparently shot himself Tuesday shortly after he crashed his car, killing his friend Sean P. Lynch, who was riding with him. Lynch and Alm were football teammates at Carl Sandburg High in Orland Park, Ill.

“I know he was bummed about his friend,” Terrell said. “But why did he do that? There were so many unanswered questions. There was so much help he could have gotten. So much support. So you’re mad at him, but you’re sorry because of the loss.”

Terrell and Alm joined the Fighting Irish as freshmen in 1986. They majored in marketing, took classes together and worked on class projects together. They played on Notre Dame’s national championship team as juniors in 1988 and both were taken in the second round of the 1990 NFL draft.

“I’m definitely going to miss him,” Terrell said. “We had so much in common.”

Terrell got the news of Alm’s death early Tuesday morning and called Ram cornerback Todd Lyght, who went through Notre Dame a year behind Terrell and Alm.

“I was sound asleep when Pat called,” Lyght said. “But I couldn’t sleep after I heard what happened.

“I didn’t know him very well and I hadn’t talked to him in years. My heart goes out to his family and friends. I don’t know what he was dealing with that would drive him to do something like that. But I guess he felt in his heart, at that moment in time, that it was the right thing to do. That’s the only way I could see making any sense out of this whole thing.”

By Wednesday morning, it still didn’t make sense to Terrell.

“It really took me back,” he said. “Not that you would expect anyone to do that, but I thought he was a little more stable than that. I feel personally that there was no excuse for that. Unfortunately, he was going through some tough times and he chose that direction.

“I thought it was kind of selfish to leave friends and family behind like that.”

Alm played in only two games this season because of the contract dispute and a broken right leg he suffered against Cincinnati last month. His leg had healed and he was expected to rejoin the team this week.

Alm’s Houston teammates described him as a “live wire” and an “emotional guy.” He got into fights during practice last season with Oiler running back Spencer Tillman.

Terrell, who last talked to Alm in 1990, their NFL rookie seasons, remembered him as an “outgoing guy” who wasn’t close with many of his Notre Dame teammates.

“I heard some interviews with the Houston players, and they said he really didn’t have a close friend on the team,” Terrell said. “That was kind of his character. He never really hung out with the guys on the (Notre Dame) team. He stayed in touch with his friends from home.

“It wasn’t like he was a loner. He always had a close friend. He was always friends with the regular students in college. He was well-liked by everyone.”

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Terrell will be a free agent at end of the season and hinted that he might not remain with the team for a fifth season.

“I would love to stay,” he said. “But I want to be somewhere where I can start. I’m in the prime of my career. If there was a setback this season, it was that I wanted to come in and make things happen as a free safety, but I was asked to do something for the team, and I accepted it.”

Terrell started 26 games at free and strong safety over the last two seasons. But when the coaches switched Anthony Newman back to free safety for this season, Terrell moved to strong safety, where he has started only two games and has backed up Michael Stewart.

Although the move has cut his playing time, Terrell says it has made him more versatile and more attractive in the free-agent market. With a possible uniform change coming, he has taken his time in recovering from a pinched nerve in his neck that caused him to lose strength in his shoulder. He was inactive against San Francisco and Phoenix but was available on an emergency basis Sunday at New Orleans.

“A lot of things have shocked me this season,” he said. “I’m going into my free-agent year and with the adversity I faced moving to strong safety at the start of the year.

“I think I have a lot of football left,” Terrell said. “I’m at the point of my career where I feel I can be a great safety. There’s really no sense in me rushing back into the lineup and it wasn’t an attempt to leave my teammates out on the street.

“Not to blow my own whistle, but sometimes it takes three or four years for a person to emerge as a free safety. I’m quickly approaching that. So I’m really excited about what’s going to happen.”

Notes

Tailback Jerome Bettis was named the NFC offensive player of the week for his 212-yard rushing performance Sunday against New Orleans. . . . Offensive tackle Jackie Slater is the Rams’ nominee for the NFL man of the year award. The winner will be selected in January by a panel of charity and education leaders. The winner’s favorite charity will receive a $25,000 donation.