Getting ‘There’ in a Good Mood

“How much longer until we get there?” Matt asked for at least the sixth time in the last half-hour.

He sighed heavily when I told him that we had nearly two more hours to go. His backpack was bulging with things he’d chosen to bring along. But that didn’t help. Neither did an entire can of his favorite drink. He was just tired of sitting still.

I couldn’t blame him. I was restless, too. We were crammed like sardines on the crowded cross-country flight, heading to the relatives for the holidays. On the other side of me, 2-year-old Melanie also was getting fidgety. The floor under her seat was littered with crayons, books and other discarded toys from her backpack.

Clearly, a crowded plane is no fun for active kids . . . or their parents. But like it or not, many of us can’t avoid cramming our kids into too-small places, whether a plane, a car, around a crowded dining room table or on the couch in Aunt Mildred’s living room full of her precious china figurines.

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It’s hard even in the best of times to keep kids amused for hours on end in enclosed places. But it doesn’t have to be teeth-gnashing miserable. Remember: The more relaxed you are, the better the kids will behave. If you’re grumpy, that’s the way they’ll act, too.

“Focus on the fun part of getting there as opposed to thinking the fun will start when you arrive,” suggests Dr. Don Wertlieb, chairman of Tufts (Mass.) University’s child study department who travels frequently with his three kids.

The same idea will work if you know you’re in for what the kids perceive to be a dull afternoon visiting a relative. Wertlieb suggests spurring the kids’ cooperation ahead of time by promising something fun afterward--ice cream sundaes, a movie. That way you’re rewarding positive behavior, he explains, rather than “getting stuck punishing.”

Remember that wherever you’re going or how you’re getting there, the more the kids are involved in the planning, the happier everyone will be on the way. Pick a special carry-along snack. And ask the kids to choose what games they want to have on hand during the flight (opt for a variety and don’t forget a deck of cards). Even preschoolers can help. Is there a favorite blanket, stuffed animal or toy they want to put in the carry-on bag? (Don’t ever put anything like that in an inaccessible suitcase.)

Choose a favorite story or song tape to take along. If you’re traveling by car, corny as it sounds, there’s no better time to belt out a few family hits.

For younger kids, consider the Albuquerque-based Green Chile Jam Band’s “Magic Bike” tape ($9.98) of original songs, including one about Green Chile Jam. It won the American Library Assn. award as a Notable Children’s Recording for 1993.

I owe author Judy Blume a personal debt for making hundreds of miles speed by for my family. Matt and 7-year-old Reggie never tire of Blume reading her books “Superfudge” and “Fudge-A-Mania” (Listening Library, $15.98).

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Along with the audio tapes, tuck a few videos and other toys in the suitcase to entertain the kids once you get where you’re going. Your hosts might not have a supply of tapes your kids like, but they’ll probably have a VCR.

Consider having a little gift or two to hand out along the way. There are plenty of toys-that-travel to choose from: from new travel versions of such classics as Parker Brothers Boggle Junior Travel, which helps kids match letters to pictures ($6.99), to Mattel Toys’ Travel UNO, complete with carrying case (about $7).

Savvy parents I know take a bag of toys, books and snacks along wherever they’re going--insurance that the kids will have something they like on hand. My daughter Reggie never leaves home without her own personal traveling art kit, complete with glittery crayons, fluorescent markers and stickers.

I save my secret KEEP-US-ALL-FROM-GOING-NUTS weapon for those times when all else fails: I tell old family stories. The more embarrassing, the better.

Taking the Kids appears the first and third week of every month.