When They’re Desperate, Don’t Believe Everything You Read

Thousands of frustrated Wisconsin fans were left holding signs asking for Rose Bowl tickets before Saturday’s game. One of the more poignant read:

“Daughter needs 1 seat to be with Dad. He is Wisconsin grad, class of ’41. World War II pilot flying Badgers, retired Marine ace pilot.”

In the window of her motor home, however, there was a “GO BRUINS” sign.

Coming soon: Take heart, baseball fans. Opening day is three months from today.

Trivia time: What two pro golfers have won PGA tournaments in four decades?

One mistake: It might have been a record-setting Rose Bowl game for UCLA receiver J.J. Stokes--14 catches, 176 yards--but it’s not what he will remember, at least for now.

“All I can think of is the fumble I had,” Stokes said.

Stokes’ fumble after he caught a pass was recovered by Lamark Shackerford of Wisconsin at the UCLA 32 and led to a Badger touchdown.

Still waiting: Not everybody in auto racing got everything they wanted for Christmas.

Bobby Allison put up a Christmas tree in his race shop, decked with festive lug nuts and spark plugs. On a bulletin board was a note telling Santa Claus, “All I want for Xmas is a sponsor.”

But the plea fell on deaf ears, and Allison continues to search for someone to help foot the bills for 1994.

Geography class: Fred Couples, when asked if he had ever played golf in Asia: “I’ve played in Japan. Is that anywhere near Asia?”

Food Bowl: Rob Waldrop is a two-time All-America nose guard for the University of Arizona who weighs 275 pounds. Depressed after a knee injury ended his sophomore season, Waldrop blew up to 298 pounds.

How?

“I just stayed in bed for 4 1/2 to five weeks eating pizzas with tuna fish on top,” Waldrop said. “I think about eating that now and it makes me sick.”

No Gretzky, either: Even Coach Roger Neilson was surprised when rookie Paul Laus scored his second career goal in the Florida Panthers’ 4-2 victory over the Mighty Ducks on Saturday.

“You’re not expecting Laus to make a Gordie Howe move like that,” Nielson said. “It caught everyone in the arena by surprise, including their defense.”

What’s important: New York Knick shooting guard John Starks wore a nose guard earlier in the season to protect a broken nose. He told Ric Bucher of the San Jose Mercury News its effect:

“It helped me focus on the rim. I couldn’t see my teammates, though, and I don’t think they appreciated that.”

Another dynasty: And you thought UCLA and John Wooden were amazing with their 10 NCAA basketball championships in 12 years. How about Northeast Louisiana?

The Indians, from Monroe, La., have won 11 national collegiate water skiing championships in the last 15 years.

Trivia answer: Sam Snead, in the 1930s, ‘40s, ‘50s, and ‘60s; Raymond Floyd in the 1960s, ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s.

Quotebook: Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden, after surviving the Seminoles’ 18-16 victory over Nebraska: “We were in the last round and we’d both knocked each other down. I guessed we knocked them down last.”