Fight Sexism With Humor, Women Told : Lawyers: Panelists at bar association meeting recommend immediate response to chauvinist remarks, preferably with sharp wit.

Even lawyers sometimes need a laugh.

Tucked among the many dry and technical panel discussions at the American Bar Assn. convention last week was an exception called “How to Talk to a Sexist.” It could have been named “Combat Training: Using Humor as a Weapon.”

Detroit lawyer George Bushnell, who will become the ABA’s president in August, couldn’t help but notice his audience of about 100 lawyers included only three men.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you girls,” he said. “And may I say you’re a fine looking bunch of fillies.”

They roared with laughter at the tone-setter.

Lawyers often are representing someone else when confronted by sexist remarks or behavior, and cannot always respond as aggressively as they’d like.

Sharp humor is the best antidote, advised panelist Barbara Pfeffer Billauer, a trial lawyer from Lido Beach, N.Y. But she warned, “Deal with it immediately. If you don’t, it doesn’t get any better.”

You need not be a witty person to wield humor effectively in such circumstances, said Denver lawyer Jay Powers. The secret is keeping some mental flash cards at the ready.

Powers told about a senior partner who was referred to as “this girl” while presenting to clients a proposed solution to a difficult legal problem.

Powers’ suggested flash-card response: “The difference between women and girls is that girls still think men are smart and know what they’re doing.”

Too strong? Consider the courtroom war story told by New York lawyer Lynn Hecht Schafran, in which a judge repeatedly referred to a female attorney as “young lady.” She responded by referring to him as “old man.”

“I could hold you in contempt,” he sputtered.

“Judge, I’m not the one who introduced age and sex into this trial,” the lawyer answered.

Then there’s the female lawyer who was told by a colleague, “I wish your blouse was more transparent.”

Her response: “I wish your pants were transparent. I could use a good laugh.”

Schafran doesn’t agree with those content to let retirement and death take care of sexism because they believe older male judges and lawyers cannot be expected to change.

“Gender bias is so deeply rooted in every generation that it cannot be eradicated without discussion and education,” she said. “The idea that older judges and lawyers cannot change ignores the way law is practiced. The law demands adaptability to change from all its practitioners.”

Bushnell, 69 and a self-described “quintessential sexist,” recalled that some of his female contemporaries were forced to seek secretarial training after law school so they could obtain work.

Today, more than half of the nation’s law school students are women. One-fourth of the 375,000 lawyers in the ABA are women. But sexism is “much more virulent,” Bushnell said.

He offered an ultimate fallback position: “When all else fails, knee the bastard in the groin.”