Many Phases of Fashion
The Place: Mezzaluna, an Italian restaurant and bar, 9428 Brighton Way, Beverly Hills; (310) 275-6703.
Atmosphere: Swirly, busy (especially on Tuesday nights), loud. Over delicious, upscale Italian food, single women attract immediate interest (“I saw you sitting alone . . . and I admire that”), bodies jostle at the crowded bar, swanky music plays loudly, a wood-burning fireplace flickers, and big hair (men and women) tumbles.
Serving Up Style: White aprons over black “Mezzaluna” T-shirts and black jeans for the waiters; for the waitresses, the same aprons with provocative black tops, paired with neck interest (black velvet choker with dangling topaz) and black jeans.
The Venetian chef (“May I make you up something special tonight? . . . My sardines are fresh, not oily, as in can”) wears all white.
Customer Themes: Brown leather bomber jackets; colorful vests; crisp white shirts or crisp polka-dotted blouses; designer jeans; black cowboy boots; lacy bodysuits; business suits; for the well-fed European, middle-aged man look: teddy-bearish sweaters over small-collared shirts.
Hair Apparent: For the women: Heather Locklear-like blond tresses artfully fall forward over eyebrows and behind ears, or big, permy locks tumble and shake. For the men: the ubiquitous silver shag, usually chin or mid-neck length.
Accessories: Expensive-looking Swiss watches, usually with a thick, chain-link band (“Is my watch expensive? Well . . . it’s all relative”); shiny gold or studded belts; hoop earrings; velvet or pearl chokers; newly acquired phone numbers.
Cardinal Rule: If thou art a single man and thou spotteth a single woman, thou shalt effortlessly slide thy cup of coffee over to her table--and sitteth with her, before she realizes whateth is happening.
Observations: The ultra-protective host and waiters immediately notice any new man who’s joined a single woman’s table. Behind the man’s back, they’ll signal to the woman--to see if the man is a “yea” or a “nay.”
Overheard: “My ex-girlfriend was a Sikh for awhile. . . . She showed me her driver’s license--she had on a full turban and everything.”
Parting Statement: Host Edward Bloom: “I’m very, very protective of single women. I really watch who comes in here. I don’t want you to be . . . well, you’re going to be hit on, but I don’t want you to be afflicted.”
