Gripe : How Parents Can Bat Zero

It’s that time of year again: Little League baseball is beginning. The sound of aluminum bats hitting horse hide, or horse hide hitting human batters, is in the air. But the most compelling sounds you might hear at some ball parks are not those of baseball being played, but of parents yelling their version of how it should be played, coached or umpired.

All parents know how to play and coach baseball. Never mind that some of them never played, never coached and certainly never umpired it. It’s a mother and father thing. When your kids get to be Little League age, you know baseball. It just happens. It’s also in the parents manual, the chapter that says, “Don’t worry, overnight you’ll be an expert on study habits, dating, puberty and baseball.”

How else to explain the crazy, embarrassing, rude and insane comments and acts of some parents? The Dad with thick glasses telling the umpire that he’s blind. The loudmouth who tripped coming back from the snack bar and spilled his soda on everyone yelling at his son to stay alert and watch what he’s doing. Mom telling the coach he shouldn’t yell at the kids, and then turning to her youngest in the stands and yelling, “If you don’t sit down and behave, you’ll never play Nintendo again!”

I’ve been coaching youth sports for seven years and I’m constantly amazed by parents. They’ve approached me to tell me that they would like to play catch with their kids, but with work and all, they just don’t have the time. Yet somehow they find two hours for two games a week to sit in the stands and second-guess me.

Yeah, yeah, I can hear you parents saying, “What about the stupid things you coaches, players and umpires do?” This is true. We lose our temper, we make bonehead decisions and some games we just totally mess up. We have a bad day. It kind of sounds like home, doesn’t it?

It takes a lot of time and effort to put together a successful Little League program, all from volunteers. So parents, chill out this spring and summer. If an overwhelming urge comes over you to yell something obnoxious, take some coaching advice: Just walk it off!