CAMPAIGN NOTES : Nothing’s Out of Kilter When It Comes to Grabbing Attention

The men in kilts had come to party, and the Democrats didn’t let them down.

Scotsmen Paul Buchanan and William Main, of Dundee and Glasgow respectively, were in Los Angeles for a trade show when their hotel was suddenly aswarm with sign-waving, sleep-deprived members of the state Democratic Party. Unfazed, the tartan-clad twosome pulled up their knee socks and joined in the fun.

“We’ve never seen anything like this in our lives,” Buchanan, a representative of the Dundee tourist board, said happily as he stood in a buffet line at state Sen. Tom Hayden’s Alternative Dinner party Saturday night. “Everyone comes up and says, ‘Whose camp are you?’ We say, ‘Neither, but we’re open to persuasion!’ ”

Somehow, the two foreign visitors had grasped instantly what American political conventions are really all about: getting attention. Back home, they admitted, they would probably be wearing jeans. But in an atmosphere as frenzied as the one at the Bonaventure Hotel, they sensed that--much like the candidates running for governor--they needed to work hard to stand out. Intuitively, they knew what it would take: skirts.

“It’s very difficult not to be noticed dressed like this,” Main said. “Sometimes people say something stupid like, ‘What are you wearing under the kilt?’ But you always get a reaction.”

Hayden, too, wanted to set himself apart (though he opted to wear pants). The self-appointed messenger of campaign reform hosted the $9.94-per-person buffet dinner party on the same night as the official $75-a-head Making A Difference Dinner in the convention hall.

State Treasurer Kathleen Brown drew the spotlight the next day by pledging that as governor, she would create 1 million new jobs for Californians. Insurance Commissioner John Garamendi, meanwhile, seemed determined not only to create jobs, but to work in as many of them as possible before the June 7 primary.

As part of his effort to work a day in each of the state’s 58 counties, Garamendi donned a bow tie and joined the hotel waiters, serving bleary-eyed conventioneers their breakfasts one morning this weekend.

The effectiveness of this gimmick remained unclear, even after one enthusiastic woman approached Garamendi and announced approvingly: “You served my coffee this morning and your hand was so steady!”

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Coffee was not the only beverage that Democrats gulped in great quantities. In the evenings particularly, the hotel’s several saloons overflowed with delegates, reporters and--for one night at least--White House staffers.

Vice President Al Gore had come to town for a Friday rally and Saturday morning keynote speech, bringing with him dozens of Secret Service agents, White House advance people and Democratic National Committee staff. To say that their presence resembled something out of a movie would be an understatement, considering that the climactic scenes from “In the Line of Fire”--last year’s Clint Eastwood movie about an aging Secret Service agent foiling a presidential assassination--were filmed at the Bonaventure Hotel.

But life really began to imitate art on Friday night, when about 20 Administration and DNC staffers converged on the hotel’s revolving cocktail lounge on the 35th floor. As they slowly spun, a few sipped “California Dreaming” margaritas (served in blue ceramic mugs in the shape of California). But by far the nightcap of choice was a lip-puckering mix of rum, sweet and sour and passion-fruit juice, served with a shot of Benedictine on the side.

Despite its syrupy consistency, this high-octane belt of so-called “In the Line of Fire” cocktail was irresistible to inside-the-Beltway residents. The reason: It comes in a ceramic replica of the hotel Eastwood made famous. More than a few Washington insiders paid $12.50 for the right to take that gray, cylindrical and undeniably ugly mug home--a lasting memento of the City of Angels.

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The convention was marked by valiant attempts at humor. State party chair Bill Press kicked it off when he defined politics as “poli-, meaning many, and - tic, meaning a small blood-sucking insect.” Then, with apologies to David Letterman, Press introduced Gore with a Top 10 List of Reasons Why We’re Glad Al Gore is Vice President.

No. 10 was: “Because he can spell.” No. 6 was: “Because he makes Warren Christopher look wild and crazy.”

Next, Gore tried to join in the frivolity, mocking his own wooden image and reciting a compendium of familiar Gore jokes, among them, “Al Gore is so boring, his Secret Service code name is Al Gore.” Ever since his failed bid for president in 1988, “I heard ‘em all,” Gore said. “And every time I heard them, my response was always the same: ‘Very funny, Tipper.’ ”

Rep. Joseph Kennedy (D-Mass.) told a story about a woman who, after shaking his hand, was heard to mutter, “That John Jr. is much better-looking in photos than he is in person.”

And state Sen. Bill Lockyer (D-Hayward) offered his own Top 10 list--this one of political predictions.

No. 10 was: “Gov. Pete Wilson (squeaks) out a primary victory when (GOP challenger) Ron Unz is called back to the mother ship.” No. 8 was a bit of a reach: “Michael Huffington’s candidacy (for U.S. Senate) falters when it is discovered that his wife is in fact Leona Helmsley.”

Probably the candidate who got the most laughs was understandably absent: Orange County Republican Rep. Bob Dornan. Thanks to an organization called BeatBob, which printed up and distributed hundreds of packs of BeatBob trading cards, Dornan was everywhere.

Each card featured a memorable Dornan quotation, like his attacks on gays, Jews, minorities and feminists. The flip side of the cards analyzed Dornan’s performance on the political playing field, noting that “the red-haired insult hurler” has physically accosted a fellow member of Congress. (Dornan allegedly grabbed him by the tie.)

“What a crazy guy!” the cards concluded.