D.C. Knows Scandals, and Whitewater Is No Watergate : Humor: Comically speaking, the Clinton development deal will never ever be confused with the Nixon political burglary thing.

For a town that likes a good political joke almost as much as a juicy political scandal, Whitewater has been a disappointment.

While the Lenos and Lettermans have had a seemingly easy time extracting humor from it, few within the Beltway have found much in the complex tale to chortle over despite the capital’s rich tradition of ridiculing political figures when they are down.

After a winter on the Whitewater defensive, however, the Clinton Administration is laughing back.

On April 6, Clinton adviser James Carville startled journalists at a Christian Science Monitor breakfast by passing out copies of a “media food chain” chart that put the Establishment press below the likes of Gennifer Flowers and Rush Limbaugh.

A week later, the President himself traded Whitewater one-liners with humorist Garrison Keillor at a radio and television correspondents’ gala, wondering how those assembled could possibly have time for their own taxes when they had spent so much time on his.

At the dinner, White House Staff Secretary John Podesta presented Rep. James Leach (R-Iowa), the perpetually pullover-clad Whitewater crusader, with a sleeveless sweater in case Congress holds hearings this summer.

Asked in an interview if the Administration now thinks of Whitewater as a laughing matter, Podesta said, “That would be going too far.” But he conceded that there had been a change of mood in recent weeks.

“I blame it on the cherry blossoms,” Podesta said.

Bosnia, Haiti and renewed allegations of pre-presidential sexual misconduct have since wilted some of the White House’s optimism. But on Whitewater at least, Democrats seem to think they have turned a corner.

At a Washington birthday party April 9 for Mike Berman, a former aide to 1984 Democratic presidential candidate (and now Ambassador to Japan) Walter F. Mondale, White House Communications Director Mark Gearan and his wife were dancing next to Deputy Treasury Secretary Roger Altman and his wife.

When Altman accidentally stepped on Gearan’s foot, Gearan cracked: “That’s an inappropriate contact.”

Altman, as those steeped in Whitewater know, got himself into trouble--and helped propel White House lawyer Bernard Nussbaum out of the Administration--for briefing Nussbaum about the status of a supposedly independent government investigation into the failed Arkansas savings and loan that financed the Whitewater development.

Clinton returned to the Whitewater scene at a dinner for White House correspondents on April 23, although the jokes had an edge that made the media wince.

Example: After a sarcastic crack about the “journalistic integrity” shown by Time magazine in using a misleading old photo of himself and adviser George Stephanopoulos, the President showed a slide of a cover he said Time had passed up--a mock photo of the two men with Roseanne Arnold.

The Administration’s resort to humor comes after a grim winter when even the Republicans on Capitol Hill found sparse comedic material in the arcane story of S&L; shenanigans and back taxes.

“All the jokes now are about Hillary and the futures trading,” said one Republican Senate aide. “Otherwise the thing is too complicated. I heard someone say Clinton got into Whitewater cause he thought Hillary said ‘McDonald’s’ ” instead of McDougal (for James McDougal, owner of the failed Arkansas S&L;). “Yeah, that’s pretty pathetic,” the aide agreed.

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In comparison, other Washington scandals have been comedic gold mines.

Example of one of the jokes: After Clarence Thomas got through his grueling confirmation hearings for the U.S. Supreme Court, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) suggested that they go out together and pick up some dates. Thomas said, “OK, but this time, you do the talking and I’ll drive.”

Or this one circulating now about beleaguered Sen. Bob Packwood (R-Ore.): He lost the congressional spelling bee because he thought harass was two words.

A scandal that only a policy wonk could love, Whitewater has also proved challenging to local professional punsters.

“It’s this huge big thing that everyone knows about but nobody knows what it is,” said Mike Tilford of the Capitol Steps, a group of former congressional staffers that does musical parodies.

“Is it about losing money, making money, Vince Foster’s death? The part of it that’s scandalous is boring, and the part of it that’s not is probably not true,” Tilford said.

His group’s latest offering: A song called “Ol Whitewater,” sung to the tune of “Black Water” by the Doobie Brothers.

Tilford as Clinton sings:

I lost sixty grand on some Arkansas land.

My wife lost money, the check’s in her name.

So now I’m in trouble

Get help on the double

Let Nussbaum and Hubbell

An’ Socks take the blame.

Gross National Product, another group appearing weekly in Georgetown, did a skit called the “Whitewater Brief,” patterned after the movie “The Pelican Brief” for a few weeks in February.

“That was the height of it and then it sort of died,” said Bob Heck, who plays Clinton in GNP’s show, “Clintoons.”

In a more recent performance, Whitewater got short shrift except for an “Easter” skit in which Hillary Rodham Clinton was supposed to be Jesus; Sen. Bob Dole (R-Kan.), Pontius Pilate, and Clinton, Judas.

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” the Dole character says to Hillary Clinton. “Did you do anything illegal in the Whitewater affair?”

She replies: “Look, I’ve told you, Bill and I have never been involved in any S&M; crisis.”

The skit ends with the press yelling, “Crucify her!” and Hillary telling Bill, “So that’s what that little kiss on the cheek was about this morning.”

Veteran political comic Mark Russell said he had no trouble finding something funny to say about Whitewater once “we heard the word shred .”

But Whitewater jokes take up only about 5% of his show in contrast to the great scandals of yesteryear.

“This isn’t going to be a two-year run like Watergate,” Russell said with evident nostalgia. “I was completely wiped out when (President Richard Nixon) resigned. I had to go back to writing my own material.”