He Might Be . . . He Could Be . . . He <i> Was </i> Wrong

Patience, Harry.

Harry Caray, the Chicago Cubs’ irreverent, irascible and impatient announcer, did a slow burn Monday night, when Cub starter Jose Guzman faltered early against the Dodgers.

“Aw, get someone warmed up! This guy’s got nothin’!” Caray said, early in the second inning.

And that was before Guzman gave up a three-run homer to the opposing pitcher, Kevin Gross. Caray was furious.

As Gross circled the bases, Caray bellowed: “Just because we pay these pitchers these big salaries, does that mean we have to keep usin’ ‘em? This guy’s awful!”

Guzman settled down after that, and so did Caray. Guzman didn’t give up another hit until the fifth, and the Cubs won, 6-3.

Come again? Seattle Manager Lou Piniella recently said his pitching staff needs a closer. A closer? How about starters?

Tom Keegan of the Baltimore Sun reported the Mariners had been outscored, 106-57, in the first three innings this season.

Trivia time: What nation has qualified for every soccer World Cup since the first one, in 1930?

Fernando bulletin: Former Dodger Fernando Valenzuela, trying his hand as a designated hitter for Jalisco in the Mexican League, hit a two-run homer for his Charros team Tuesday. As a pitcher, he is 6-2.

Bad ink: Kansas City Royal Manager Hal McRae recently said his team has a better road record because of the local media.

“It’s unfortunate, but we enjoy playing on the road because we don’t have to deal with all the negative questions,” he said.

Interjected outfielder Vince Coleman: “You want negative? Try New York sometime, man.”

The Yankee Clipper: Guess who turns 80 this year?

Joe DiMaggio, on Nov. 25.

In addition to the fluid, seemingly effortless grace with which he played center field for the New York Yankees for 13 seasons, DiMaggio will be even longer remembered for a stat even more impressive than his lifetime .325 batting average.

DiMaggio was the ultimate contact hitter. He hit 361 home runs, yet struck out only 369 times. In 1941, when he batted .357 and had a 56-game hitting streak, he struck out 13 times all season--and only seven times during the streak.

His highest strikeout season was his rookie year, 39 in 1936.

What’s his name? Since no one can pronounce his name, Cal wide receiver Uheanyi Uwaezuoke is called “Eye Chart” by teammates and coaches.

State-size: Bill Glauber of the Baltimore Sun, writing about the world’s longest golf hole, the 841-yard, par six at Locust Grove, Va.:

“The green is roughly the size of Utah.”

Trivia answer: Brazil.

Quotebook: Former Dodger Kirk Gibson, on the release of Darryl Strawberry: “Hey, that doesn’t concern me. He was never my teammate, anyway, so why would I care about him?”