TV’s First Family of Dysfunction Joins Comic Book Club : The Simpsons are the basis for four titles. The writers and artists will appear in Santa Barbara for a free signing.

Aye Carumba! The meanest kid in America--the one with the stupid, Duff Beer-filled dad and the mom with the tallest hair--has fans.

Since its debut Jan. 14, 1990, television’s “The Simpsons” show has made America laugh like no other cartoon since Rocky and his friends in the early ‘60s.

And although the school board didn’t think it was funny, young students in Greenwood, S.C., recently voted to name their new seat of learnin’ Springfield Elementary School, which is, of course, Bart Simpson’s school.

Nowadays, it is hard to avoid products that bear The Simpsons’ likeness. Creator Matt Groening has made so much money, he could afford to buy the nuclear power plant just to fire Mr. Burns.

Thus, it’s not surprising that America’s first family of dysfunction finally has its own comic books. The Bongo Comics Group’s writers and artists, Steve Vance, Cindy Vance and Bill Morrison, will appear at Metro Comics in Santa Barbara for a free signing of their work Saturday afternoon.

Since about the only thing free these days is a hard time, a free signing appears to be quite the deal, particularly when compared to, say, an athlete signing a baseball at a card show. For the prices the jocks charge, you’d expect Pete Rose himself to show up at your place, cook dinner, then do the dishes.

“That’s right about athletes, I guess, but we don’t have any intention of ever charging,” said Steve Vance during a recent phone interview. “The majority of the people that come are fans and not speculators.”

Having money in the family or a night job is about what it takes to afford comics nowadays. The 10-cent comic went the way of a penny for your thoughts, the nickel candy bar, the quarter movie and the 50-cent gallon of gas. Comics used to be a dime, then 15 cents, then 20 cents, then a quarter, then 30 cents, then 35, then 40, then 50, then 75, now, they’re about two bucks.

“Well, you know, a new car used to cost a thousand bucks back when a comic cost a dime,” said Vance. “One of the biggest single reasons was that the price of paper went way up in the ‘70s; and what is a comic but paper?”

Since the inception of comic books in the late ‘30s, two giants, Marvel Comics and DC Comics have controlled the marketplace. But since the growth of comic book shops in the mid-70s, the so-called alternative companies have made some serious inroads, now accounting for about half of all comic book sales. Bongo Comics, a relatively new company, publishes four Simpsons-related titles, “Simpsons Comics,” “Itchy & Scratchy,” “Bartman” and “Radioactive Man.” The comics are selling like Duff Beers at Moe’s.

“The Simpsons title does best, and all the rest of them sell pretty much the same. The one with the most rabid fans is ‘Radioactive Man.’ It generates the most fan mail. I think it’s because it’s a parody of the superhero comics, and there’s a lot of in-jokes and a lot of references to old comics.”

Comic book letter writers are notorious nit-pickers. These are the people who write in to complain that Lisa Simpson is wearing one less pearl in Panel 7 on Page 23 than she did in last month’s issue. They notice everything except the fact that they themselves have no lives.

“I wish I knew why they were like that since I’m the one that has to answer their letters. I think it’s just part of the game, part of the fun of being a comics collector. It’s a compliment if they find something where we slipped up. To say comic fans are geeks is an incorrect stereotype--it’s like saying everyone that watches TV is a couch potato. Actually the median age of comic book readers is getting older. A lot of college students and working adults read comics.”

This seems to be one organization where everyone likes the boss. Vance insists that Groening is a much better guy than Burns, and creating comics isn’t half the sweatshop that the nuclear power plant in Springfield appears to be. Or else he’s just angling for a raise.

“Well, Matt’s the big boss. We get together with him regularly and discuss story ideas; and he looks everything over. We’ve all worked with Matt for a long time, and we know his sensibilities very well. He has the final say, but there’s never a lot of conflict.”

OK, so the show is funny, the boss is cool, the comics are a hit, but why does Scratchy the cat always get bumped off? Inquiring cat lovers want to know.

“Hey, I like cats, too. We have a pet cat, not a pet mouse. It’s just the tradition of parodying all those cat and mouse cartoons of the old days. The underdog mouse always wins. Scratchy may win someday, but there’ll have to be a big buildup before he does.”

So don’t hold your breath for Scratchy to make mouseburgers and avenge all the damage done to felines in countless Tweety, Tom and Jerry and Mighty Mouse cartoons. Bart will graduate from Harvard and Homer will quit drinking beer before that happens. Next up for the comics is the same scenario that happens monthly in superhero comics: the continued story.

“The big thing coming up for us is the crossover involving all four titles. We finally decided to break down and do one. It’s going to be something that couldn’t be done on the show. The Simpsons are going to meet Itchy and Scratchy and Bartman is going to meet Radioactive Man.”

Gee, I wonder if Bartman could get back the 73 boxes of comics that my ex-girlfriend sold.

Details

* WHAT: Comic signing by Cindy Vance, Steve Vance and Bill Morrison, creators of “Simpsons Comics.”

* WHERE: Metro Comics, 15 Anapamu St., Santa Barbara.

* WHEN: June 4, 4 to 6 p.m.

* COST: Free.

* PHONE: 963-2168.