Executive Travel : Firms Help Parents Leave the Guilt Behind

Business trips may increasingly be a fact of working life for many parents, but the travels don’t have to turn into guilt trips. There are ways for parents to ease their minds while on the road, and some companies are taking steps to help lighten the strain.

The average person who travels on business takes 4 1/2 company trips a month, for a total of about five nights away from home, said Susan Ginsberg, publisher of the Work and Family Life newsletter, a monthly publication distributed by companies to their employees.

Missing significant events in their children’s lives is one of the most stressful aspects parents face in work-related travel, Ginsberg said. A recent survey Ginsberg helped conduct for Atlanta-based MCI Telecommunications Corp. showed that 60% of traveling parents with children at home have missed a child’s birthday or other special event, such as a school play or baseball game.

Other prime guilt provokers are having to leave a sick child or not feeling comfortable with the care provider left at home.

A small but growing number of companies are attempting to help parents who travel. Some subsidize or pay for child care while the parent is gone, or they may pay for child care if the parent chooses to take the child along, said Robin Hardman, director of information services for the Families and Work Institute in New York, a nonprofit research company.

*

San Francisco-based Wells Fargo, for example, will cover the cost of child care for parents when they travel, spokesman Michael Larkin said.

At Minneapolis-based IDS Financial Services, a division of American Express, the company pays for child care (or elder care) in an employee’s absence, or pays for child care during a meeting if the parent takes the child along, said Sharon Klun, IDS work and family coordinator.

According to the Travel Industry Assn., the percentage of business trips that include children has increased from 11% of the 224 million business trips taken in 1991 to 14% of the 276 million trips in 1993.

Many hotels will assist parents in finding child care. And a few even provide supervised recreation programs for kids. During the summer, for example, Chicago-based Hyatt Corp. runs Camp Hyatt, a children’s activities program that parents can pay for by the hour or day.

Other companies have adapted to the needs of working parents by conducting more business by video or teleconference, Hardman said.

However, when it comes to juggling travel and family obligations, most business travelers are on their own. Formal family-oriented travel policies are still uncommon at most companies, Klun said, though interest appears to be increasing.

“I’ve gotten 15 phone calls in the last four months from (other companies) asking about our policy,” she said.

*

However, there are some road-tested suggestions for making business travel less anxiety-inducing.

For example, Katie Glockner Seymour, president of Performance Marketing near Orlando, Fla., and her husband, Thad, general manager of Atlanta-based HBO & Co., both travel for work. Each tries to call home at the same time each day so their three children know when they can talk about their day’s activities and concerns. And before either one is leaving for someplace new, they talk about the place. “We try to make it a fun geography lesson,” Glockner Seymour said.

*

Using a map and markers to show where you’re going and sending postcards when you’re on the road are great ways to turn a business trip into a positive experience for kids, Ginsberg said. Other suggestions are to hide notes or surprises for kids in lunch boxes or backpacks, make sure someone videotapes any special family event you’ll miss, and take pictures of even routine things, such as hotel rooms, airports or meeting rooms to share with very young children.

Parents can also use fax machines in creative ways to stay in touch with loved ones. Some kids fax homework assignments to their parents, or parents fax a funny message home, Ginsberg said.

One of the biggest consequences of feeling guilty about job-related travel is that parents sometimes try to overcompensate for being gone.

“Don’t try to make up for your absence with elaborate gifts,” Ginsberg said. Small souvenirs, especially the kinds of things children can use later in school reports, are better choices. And when you get home, try to spend extra time with your kids, perhaps doing something similar to what you missed while away.

*

Perhaps the best secret for reducing guilt, however, is to think of business travel as an opportunity for kids, said Klun, herself a single parent who has to occasionally leave her 9-year-old at home for job-related travel.

“I truly try to look at it as a positive experience for him,” she said.

Before she leaves, she talks with her son about getting to set his own alarm clock and take care of his own clothes. “It gives him tools to build his self-esteem,” she said. “It’s a chance to try out some of those skills.”

Tips for a Guilt-Free Trip Here are some ideas for minimizing family disruptions when traveling on business.

* Disrupt your children’s schedules as little as possible by leaving after they’ve left for school or summer activities.

* Give very young children a reference point for your return, such as “I’ll be back after your dinner tomorrow” or “I’ll be back in two sleep times.”

* Freeze some favorite meals for when you’re gone, and encourage your family to eat things they like but you don’t.

* Make sure you know your kids’ schedules so you are aware of homework projects or games that will take place while you’re gone. Talk about those events when you call.

* Fax funny messages or cartoons.

* Use electronic mail to stay in touch.

* When you call home, make sure you use the same “separation sayings” you do there, such as “See you later, alligator.”

* Tape a bedtime story your children can play while you’re gone, or bring a duplicate book and read it over the phone.

* Avoid overnight trips by taking an early-bird flight and returning on a late-night flight.

* Call home at the same time each day so your kids know when to expect to talk to you.

* Send postcards and letters.

* If you will miss an important event at home, have someone videotape it, then plan a special time to watch the tape with your family.

* Use a map to go over your itinerary with your kids. Make a point of learning about different cultures if your trip will take you overseas.

* Leave notes or small surprises in different places, such as on pillows or in lunch boxes. Make a game of having your kids find one surprise every day you are gone.

Source: “Positive Parenting Guide for Business Travelers From MCI”;

(free brochure available by calling (800) KID-TIPS)