Where Parents and Kids Learn to Grow

The most surprising thing about being a parent, Oscar Guillen says, is learning that love is not all you need.

“It doesn’t do everything. You have to understand what children need; put yourself in their situation,” said Guillen, a Peruvian native and member of Gardena Adult School’s Child Observation class. “I had to learn to be my child’s coach.”

Guillen, his daughter Betsy, 5, and about 20 other parents with children in tow gathered last week at Guenser Park in Torrance for an end-of-the-year celebration of the class, which has met once a week since September.

The course, which has been offered since the 1930s, uses a hands-on approach to parenting, with adults and children participating in the class. In an age where divorce, single parenthood and children born out of wedlock are as common as colds, instructor Eileen Kapp says her class is needed more than ever.

“Parents sometimes have false expectations of their children,” said Kapp, a vibrant woman with a New York accent. “For example, they expect a 2-year-old to understand sharing. They don’t.”

Kapp, who has taught the class for 21 years, divides three hours evenly between children and adults. Preschool children learn phonics, pre-reading and math-readiness skills. Adults observe and use their time to discuss everything from nutrition to discipline techniques and trouble-shooting at home. Parents working toward a high-school diploma can get credit for the class.

“We really help each other out,” said Steve Gmur, a class member with wife, Maria, and 5-year-old son, Robby. “It’s fantastic. We can express frustration about kids with other parents who are experiencing the same problems.”

This year, participants ranged in age from 20 to 60 and included fathers and grandparents and cut across ethnic lines, attracting whites, Asians, blacks and Latinos.

Katherine Ashimine, 61, said the adults and children feel comfortable enough to learn, and keep coming back.

“Parents need to get involved with their kids, but they don’t always have the time,” said Ashimine, who attends the class with her 3-year-old grandson, Michael, while his parents are at work. “My daughter does her best to come here when she has the time, or can get off. But it’s hard.”

Aileen Araki joined the class a few months ago and is one of its most vocal proponents.

“My son Steven has learned a lot,” she said. “He wouldn’t take part in groups before. He recently passed a pre-kindergarten test with very high marks. A teacher asked him where he learned so much, and he said, ‘In this class.’ ”

Kapp, who plans to start an English-as-a-second-language parenting class in the fall, says she likes the eclectic nature of the group. “There’s a very strong bond among new parents, grandparents, everybody,” she said.

That was evident last week when the seven 5-year-olds in the class wore white mortarboards and “graduated” in the park under an arc of pink and blue balloons. As Kapp read off names, parents cheered and snapped photos.

“She really teaches kids to interact with each other,” said Shari Johnson, a class member for two years. “She makes learning fun, she encourages the kids. . . . Basically, she teaches you how to love them.”