Multicultural Manners : Wedding Dishes Up a Dilemma

Kay, a well-known folklorist, is invited to a Samoan wedding. She thinks she knows what to expect: whole roasted pigs presented to the newlyweds; money pinned to the dancing bride, traditional island music and garb. Nevertheless, she is unprepared for the food.

At each place setting sits an open cardboard box, the size of a soft-drink case, holding a slab of corned beef, cooked plantains, a large portion of roast pork, pork ribs, fried chicken, potato salad, fruit salad and soda pop. Kay knows that as a sign of friendship she must eat the food, but she cannot possibly consume the entire contents of the box.

What went wrong?

Kay didn’t know that instead of having to eat all of the food, she was expected only to sample it. She discovered that guests merely taste the food, then take the rest home to be shared with family.

Samoans, like other Pacific Islanders, place high value on the welfare of their extended families and the exchange of material goods. Thus, sharing festival food is a custom that can be found as far south as the Cook Islands and as far west as the Republic of Palau, where on festive occasions hosts distribute baskets of woven banana leaves filled with whole crab, tapioca, taro and breadfruit.

Rule: At Samoan weddings, don’t assume you have to clean your plate.

Norine Dresser is a folklorist and author of “I Felt Like I Was From Another Planet,” (Addison Wesley). Tell her your experiences c/o Voices.