Soccer Goat Becomes a Pet to Some British

As the World Cup churns on, England, the nation that claims to have invented soccer and does not deny it invented soccer hooliganism, sits on the sideline after failing to qualify.

How are the British dealing with this?

The No. 1-selling sports video in England is a documentary, wryly entitled, “Do I Not Like That,” a stinging account of the national team’s failure to qualify, reports the New Republic magazine.

The man who spoke those words is recently replaced English coach Graham Taylor, who was caught by the documentary audio tape sputtering the now-famous phrase in the aftermath of a particularly grievous on-field error.

Taylor has become a cult figure of sorts in England, appearing in TV commercials and, according to the magazine, acting as “a metaphor for all the cheerful, clueless, jingoistic know-nothings who characterize England.”

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Trivia time: Glenn Robinson of Purdue is widely expected to be the No. 1 selection in today’s NBA draft. Who were the last two players from the Big Ten conference, in basketball or football, to be selected first overall?

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Eight are enough: Last week, the bizarre boxing career of Leon Spinks got even more bizarre.

Spinks, the star-crossed former heavyweight champion, won a technical knockout over Eddie Curry in Raleigh, N.C., when Curry didn’t answer the bell for the ninth round and was disqualified.

Why? Because Curry thought the bout was scheduled for eight rounds and refused to continue when he was told it was 10 rounds.

Ring announcer Michael Buffer had announced that the bout was scheduled for 10 rounds.

Carolina Boxing Assn. Commissioner Rusty Mitchell disqualified Curry.

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Channeling: Steve Garvey, in the publisher’s note of a recent edition of Sport magazine, writes that today’s batters are overreacting to inside pitching.

“When I got knocked down, I’d jump up quickly, get back in the box and dare that pitcher to throw the ball over the plate,” Garvey writes.

“Three-quarters of the time I’d get a hit because I’d channel that same emotion that currently drives some to charge the mound for a better purpose--driving the ball up the middle, or better, out of the park.”

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Trivia answer: The most recent No. 1 overall picks in the NFL and NBA drafts were Big Ten players. The Cincinnati Bengals selected Ohio State defensive lineman Dan Wilkinson with the top pick in last spring’s NFL draft, and the Orlando Magic selected Michigan forward Chris Webber No. 1, then traded him to Golden State, last year.

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Quotebook: Philadelphia Phillie team physician Phillip Marone, after completing a physical on new acquisition Fernando Valenzuela: “I don’t know how old he is, but he’s in perfect physical shape. His shoulders and elbows are fine. If he doesn’t pitch well, it’s not my fault.”