Bothered by Touchy-Feely Cards? We’re There For You
While browsing a greeting card shop the other day, I saw headings like “Your Diet Is Going Well” and “You’ve Quit Smoking.”
These cards were in the “Congratulations” section reserved once upon a time for such mundane acts as having a baby or being promoted. Obviously, some sharp-eyed greeting-card executive who’s seen a lot of Oprah shows realized those achievements only begin to tap the potential in the self-actualization movement.
Before talk shows expanded our consciousness, life’s milestones were somewhat limited: a birthday, high school graduation, getting married, having a baby. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that was the only stuff we knew about. Remember when people actually kept other personal endeavors to themselves?
No longer. “Mind your own business” has been replaced by “May I share?” as the operative expression of the day. We’ve convinced ourselves we can’t be truly evolved unless we inform someone else of our achievements. It only follows that, once informed, our friends will want to acknowledge these great moments in our lives by sending a card.
It’s all part of nurturing each other. Hallmark must be loving it, because in this new era, the greeting-card possibilities are endless:
“You Secured a Point-Free Loan.”
“Your Lawn Looks Marvelous.”
“You’re Saying Fewer Stupid Things Lately.”
“You’re Down to a Six-Pack a Day.”
“That Casserole You Served Was Exquisite.”
“You Finally Got That Wart Removed From Your Big Toe.”
“Your Progress on the Tuba Is Exciting.”
“You Found Your Keys.”
“Your Tummy Tuck Has Made a Difference.”
According to Hallmark, the custom of exchanging greeting cards was spurred by three developments: the rise of literacy in the 1800s, low postal rates and modern ways to print color. Printed valentines became widely popular only after 1840, followed by Christmas cards a decade later and then Easter and everyday cards.
Lois Hunt, editorial manager for Hallmark Crown cards at company headquarters in Kansas City, Mo., said consumer research led to the proliferation of “all-occasion” card-sending.
I asked her why people want to branch out and send more personal cards.
“I think there’s a lot going on in the world that’s changing right now,” she said. “People have more blended families, they’re moving around more so they’re not staying in as close touch with their families, and friends are becoming more important because of that.”
The troubled economy of recent years also has caused shared problems and, in general, people are more aware of other people’s personal struggles, Hunt said. One thing Hallmark writers and editors try to develop are “universal specific” cards that can be construed by anyone as a response to their particular situation. An example, Hunt said, is the card reading, “I’m There For You.”
It will be interesting to see how far the greeting-card industry can go. Keep in mind that card-sending includes more than congratulatory messages. What about sympathy cards? They once were limited to deaths, but the new openness also makes the condolence field ripe for expansion.
For example:
“Word Has It You’ve Been Ruined Financially.”
“We Just Learned Your Son Was Expelled Again.”
“The Article on Your Arrest Was Overplayed.”
“No One Expected Him to Fleece You.”
“Sorry to Hear About Your Parrot and the Lawn Mower.”
“We Heard You Singing.”
And then, there are the cards that don’t fit a specific category. They’re neither congratulatory nor consoling. That’s probably where Hallmark puts their most talented writers.
“I’m Thinking of You,” expresses a fine sentiment, but there’s lots of room for messages with a more personal touch:
“Incessant Chatter Can Grow Tiresome.”
“You Seem Shorter.”
“In Some Countries, Peeping Tomism Is Nothing to Be Ashamed Of.”
“You Burst Into Tears for Reasons I Can’t Fathom.”
“Your Column Strikes Me as an Odd Waste of Time.”
