He gave at the office: Frank Glaser...

He gave at the office: Frank Glaser of Rancho Palos Verdes received a notice from State Farm Insurance, reminding him that if he wanted to keep his homeowner’s policy in force he needed to write out a check for $6--payable to the “Hawaii Hurricane Relief Fund.”

“I told my agent: ‘I’m sure it’s a worthy cause but, you mean, to maintain my insurance I have to make out the check like that?’ ” Glaser recalled.

He was told he could make the check out to State Farm. The only explanation he received for the error was that his bill had been printed on the “wrong stock.”

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Pitch of the week: Every once in a while we like to run a bit of poetry. Adds class to the column. Here’s a lyrical request for contributions from the nonprofit National Council of Jewish Women’s Council Thrift Shops (213-655-3111).

It’s time to call Council Thrift

When your shoes no longer fit,

When your drawers will no longer close

And family sizes are beyond those

Nice things that now take up space

And don’t really flatter your face

Or no longer seem quite right

For the affair you’re attending tonight.

Your garage can’t squeeze in a car

And antiques collect dust on the bar.

When you can’t see the room for the clutter

Call Council Thrift

We’ll make it . . . like butter.

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Photos you’ll never see in Only in L.A. . . . . . . but are worth mentioning. We’ve received numerous shots of professionally painted signs that contain the same unfortunate spelling error, one that invariably has a sexual connotation. Walt Willis of Woodland Hills sent along the latest example, which he spotted in a bank building in Encino. In stilted bureaucratese, it refers to certain regulations in “public areas.” But it omitted one letter in the word “public.” Do the sign makers ever read their own work?

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Beverly Hillbillies Adjacent: “I was driving up Federal Avenue from Olympic Boulevard and I saw this couple in the distance walking a dog down the street,” reports Judi Davidson of Santa Monica. “From behind, it looked like a huge dog. I mean, it had cellulite--the fat was just wiggling on it. As I got closer I saw it had kind of a strange color, too--it was a short-haired pink dog. Then as I passed I saw it wasn’t a dog at all--it was an enormous pig on a dog leash.”

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Dueling courts: “The decision to set the start of the Heidi Fleiss and O.J. Simpson trials for the same day (Sept. 19) is both cruel and unusual punishment for taxpayers who wish to savor every moment of both media events,” writes Dawna Kaufmann of L.A. “May I suggest rerouting Ms. Fleiss’ trial to Night Court? She might prefer that schedule anyway.”

miscelLAny:

The Spruce Goose has flown the dome. Port Disney was abandoned. In search of a new tourist attraction, the Long Beach Planning Commission has approved a proposal for a 210-foot-tall bungee tower in a parking lot near the ocean. Cost of the five-second drop would be $85 per screaming customer. The tower, by the way, will be next door to Long Beach’s most famous ship, which we imagine will be renamed the Queen Bungee.