‘Lite Lovers’ Offer True Friendship

As a male fitting the description of a “lite lover” (“Platonic Plus,” Aug. 29)--i.e., straight, never married, no children, plenty of female friends--I think your article missed a very salient point:

Some men do believe women when they say “no.” If a man can admit that lovemaking does not always have to include sex, then he’ll always have lots of female “friends” and not many female lovers. That is another sad story unto itself.

A large part of this stems from the confusion faced by women when a man actually listens.

She: “Let’s not, OK?”

He: “OK.”

She: “What do you mean, OK?”

Speaking from a strictly personal point of view, I want a woman to make love with me because she wants to, not because she feels she is succumbing to pressure, real or imagined. Maybe that’s the crux of the whole issue--sex isn’t worth it unless there’s tension involved? With a “lite lover,” you don’t get tension, you get a true friendship that extends beyond the physical realm.

ROBERT D. SWITZER

San Diego