It’s Yule by the Pool as Santas Soak Up Sun and Job Tips

It was a scene so rife with cliches that its description seems almost apocryphal: 10 Santas lounging around the pool Thursday at the Four Seasons Hotel, dressed for a balmy December day in T-shirts and shorts, getting last-minute instructions on how to handle those tiny tots with their eyes all aglow.

“The big thing to remember is that Santa never goes to the bathroom,” said Joel Reyes, who will perform Santa duties at the Beverly Center. “You have to say, ‘Santa’s going to feed the reindeer.’ ”

Reyes and nine others were taking part in Western Temporary Services’ “Santa School,” a crash course for those who wish to transform themselves into that jolly old soul for a season. The group sat stroking their white beards and learned the do’s and don’ts from Santa School Headmistress Jenny Zink.

Zink, who works with the temporary agency, said she has been teaching men and women how to portray Santa at malls, hospitals and special events for 25 years. It’s a job she takes seriously.

“They have to stay in character,” she said. “They can’t let their guard down for a minute because they can’t disappoint the kids.”

Zink led the group through their routines with tips on keeping their beards in place and speaking softly and soothingly to a child. Santas are cautioned not to be too energetic with the “Ho, ho, ho’s” lest they frighten a young child.

And because the weather in Los Angeles is a tad warmer than at the North Pole, Santas were reminded to bathe well and use deodorant. Garlic is a no-no, and Mr. Claus should keep mints handy to avoid having breath that could light up Rudolph’s nose.

“Santa hygiene is important,” said Terri Francis, branch manager of Western Temporary’s office in Santa Monica.

Portraying Santa in the ‘90s involves new rules and regulations. Santas are advised to always refer to a child’s “folks” instead of “mommy” and “daddy” in an effort to be politically correct in the age of alternative households.

It’s also important to avoid any actions that might lead to accusations of child abuse. The guidelines are a small price to pay, many said, for the opportunity to play a man who is loved by millions.

“The kids look at Santa like he’s God,” said Todd Schwartz, a writer/actor who lives in Hollywood. “Playing him has been a lifelong dream.

“Besides, it’s the only job I can get where I can gain a little weight and get chubby and it’s OK,” he added.

Schwartz said he saw no conflict in the fact that he is a Jewish Santa.

“Santa Claus has always been Jewish,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “We just don’t talk about it much.”

The agency attracts a variety of people from different professions who get a kick out of being Santa for a season, Zink said. Participants are paid hourly wages based on their assignments, but many have other reasons for donning the suit.

“It’s the kids,” said Joe Purnell, a program director for an organization that works with mentally handicapped people. “They are so much fun.”

Purnell said he has dressed up as Santa for the past 17 years. His white beard is real.

Class ended with the men stuffing their ample frames (pillows helped some Santas maintain the proper girth) into their red suits and striding through the hotel--to the delight of guests--to attend Santa graduation in the hotel dining room. The tassels on Santa caps were flipped from one side to the other and the men received diplomas before dining on Santa’s favorite meal--cookies and milk.