THE JAUNDICED EYE : A Subscription Offer You Have No Hope of Refusing
Dear Occupant:
We’ve already placed your five-year subscription order in the hands of our collection agency: That’s how sure we are that that’s how much you’ll love it.
Wait a darn minute, you say. What is it?
It’s Waiting Room--The Magazine You’d Swear You’ve Read Before!
And believe it or not, the subscription price has been slashed by 20% just since you began reading this letter!
Profiles of recently dead celebrities . . . predictions of things that have already happened . . . in-depth analyses of crises you can barely remember: Each month, Waiting Room brings back the very smell of your doctor’s or dentist’s office with articles like . . .
-- What Does Brezhnev Really Want?
-- Jerry Brown Makes His Move
-- “Miami Vice”: Tensest Set in TV!
-- John Denver: Riding that “Country Road” to Glory
But stop! I’m delighted to inform you that just for reading this far, you can lop a further 50 cents off the regular newsstand price!
More than the articles make Waiting Room unique. It not only reads like magazines you’ve been leafing through in reception rooms all your life, it looks and feels like ‘em too! Crossword puzzles filled in, recipes torn out, whole pages missing--and somebody’s kid has probably scrawled a mustache on the cover subject!
No wonder we’ve already signed you up. But not just for Waiting Room. Because, thanks to a onetime, never-to-be-mentioned-again special offer, you can enjoy receiving SPACES, The Monthly Magazine of the Delaware Water Gap. Brim-full of do-it-yourself crafts, boating tips, outdoor fashions. Plus wining, dining and dancing bests. Even constantly updated safety ratings of every nuclear power plant in the region!
And here’s late-breaking news: Get both Waiting Room and SPACES for one- fourth what you’d pay at the newsstand for 18 months by acting NOW and adding--not just another magazine, but a charter subscription to Today’s Scubafaxer, the “Bible of Underwater Hard-Copy Messaging” (Sponge Diver Digest, Oct. ‘92), with its monthly Fax Fox fold-out pin-up bathing-beauty poster, grotto reviews. All printed on saltwater-resistant paper fit for deep-sea aquatic faxing!
And how’s this for a deal you’ll call a DEAL: Even though it isn’t available on newsstands, you get 95% off the newsstand price when you sign up for Waiting Room, SPACES, Today’s Scubafaxer and--at no extra postage or handling cost--Throwaway’s, the exciting new magazine jam-packed with eye-popping color fold-outs, unsolicited credit cards, personalized letters just like this--all the hard-sell trash that ordinarily clogs up your mailbox over a month, put between covers so you can toss it every week!
But you don’t have to say Yes or No right now. The 42-magazine Extra Bonus Invitation Offer is on its way to your home at this moment. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Unless you turn the page, and discover . . . . *
