For Seniors : Friendship Force Breaks Down Borders

Zelda and Leo Arditte are part of an international force. It’s powerful and simple. The most important requirements are flexibility and a keen sense of adventure. Love of people is a given. Personal agendas are not encouraged. Intense experiences are guaranteed. Friendship is the only goal. Cynics need not apply.

The Ardittes are members of Friendship Force, an Atlanta-based nonprofit organization dedicated to fostering peace through international friendship. Founded 15 years ago by the Rev. Wayne Smith, formerly of Atlanta and now minister of a nondenominational church in Moscow, the group flourishes in 50 countries and claims more than half a million participants. Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter is the honorary chairwoman.

“We decided eight years ago, after our children left home, to make something else a center of our lives,” Leo Arditte said. “When we travel, we are unofficial ambassadors for America, and when people come to us, we are their hosts. Every experience changes our lives.”

Indeed, the Ardittes speak of their worldwide circle of friends as if they are family. They have shared their lives with strangers whose pictures fill their photo albums and have overcome barriers that usually separate people.

The Ardittes are members of the Los Angeles club, one of the 350 Friendship Force clubs worldwide and one of two in Southern California. They have traveled to Kenya, Holland, Japan, Sweden and Israel on friendship tours.

On the surface they’re quite ordinary--Leo, 69, is a hairstylist and Zelda, 62, is a court reporter. But they represent others like themselves who were collectively nominated in 1992 for the Nobel Peace Prize. They like to say that the kind of peace they forge happens “around the kitchen table, not the conference table.”

On a trip to Nairobi in 1986, the Ardittes spent one week with an African family, sleeping in a room the size of a small clothes closet.

“We did everything with this family,” Zelda said. “I was so impressed with the mother, who told me it was important for her children to be comfortable with (non-Africans), and even though they couldn’t afford to travel, they are bringing the world to them. On the fourth day the magic happened--all the barriers of race, food and language evaporated.”

Leo says the experience of living with Africans was equally as powerful for him. For one week, he says, they were a family.

“This is not some cheap travel club,” he said. “We are there only to visit with our host family.”

Sylvia Postar, 71, of Sherman Oaks, is the president of the 300-member Los Angeles group, which consists primarily of older, middle-class people. Most travel costs are paid by individual members.

“When my husband, Dan, and I were in Turkey, we stayed with a couple who were younger than our own children. They were so caring. The level of hospitality was so high that when we returned home we wanted to shake our kids and tell them what it was like,” said Postar, whose friendship treks have taken her to Brazil, Japan, Thailand, Turkey, New Zealand and Australia.

When the Atlanta office calls with a request from a foreign club seeking a visit to Los Angeles, Postar calls her local board and they vote on whether they can handle the request. If they say yes, Postar appoints a director who accepts applications from members who are interested in hosting. Workshops are organized to educate host families about culture and language.

“The purpose is to create an environment where seeds of friendship can sprout,” she said.

Members who can’t host for the week can act as day hosts. Typically, visitors come two or three times a year, with lodging and food supplied by the hosts.

Club member Ronda Furgatch of Marina del Rey sends 250 Christmas cards every year, mostly to people she has met through Friendship Force. “It’s more than a greeting, it’s about caring. After the Northridge quake I received calls from all around the world asking if they could help,” she said.

Although members report only positive experiences, there are awkward moments that demand finesse, such as the time in someone’s home when Zelda was served a meal she found unpalatable. “I tasted it, played with it, took a few swallows and kept talking,” she said.

Or the time she saw a tarantula-like insect cross the floor. Leo said that, had he been at home, he would have squashed it. Zelda let out a repressed yell, but their hosts just sat still and waited until the bug crossed the floor and disappeared.

As a result of their experiences, the Ardittes are so hungry for international news that they read three newspapers a day. And watching television coverage of events in Africa isn’t the same for them after their visit. “It hurts more,” Leo said.

The Ardittes agree that Friendship Force is not for everyone. “There’s never a guarantee of anything at the other end except friendship and the knowledge that people all want the same things--peace and a better world for their children,” Zelda said.

For information about Friendship Force, call (310) 559-5261.