‘90s FAMILY : Adding Richness To Everyday Life

Rituals and traditions add variety and richness to life, and best of all, they don’t have to be complicated, says Elizabeth Berg, author of “Family Traditions: Celebrations for Holidays and Everyday” (Reader’s Digest, 1994).

“A ritual or tradition can be as simple as something you do every night, like read a story to a small child, or something you do weekly, such as go out for Chinese food,” Berg says.

You may think you have no family rituals, but that’s usually not true, she adds: “You probably have special rituals unique to your family.”

To incorporate rituals and traditions into your life, she and other experts suggest that you do the following:

* Recognize existing traditions. Look around to see what you’re already doing on a regular basis that is unique to your family and give the activity the status it deserves.

* Augment traditions. If you’re already reading stories to the kids at night, cuddle up in the winter under a special story quilt.

* Start small. Begin with one ritual and incorporate it before trying another. Holidays are a natural time to begin family rituals.

* Have weekly family conferences. Weekly talks give family members a chance to express problems and share solutions. Just make sure that no one shouts or accuses.

* Start a family-activities jar. Have each family member put suggestions for family outings in a jar and then pick one a week to do.

* Choose traditions that will teach values and social responsibility to your children. Sponsoring an underprivileged family at Christmas or visiting nursing homes on a monthly basis will teach your children invaluable lessons.

* Try simple, inexpensive rituals. Some of the most memorable traditions and rituals are free. Read books or poetry, play games, put together puzzles, listen to music, bake, sew, do crafts, garden, hike and go on picnics.

* Gather ideas from friends and neighbors. When a friend or family member tells you about a great tradition, try it yourself. Keep ideas preserved in a notebook.

* Use a calendar. Until they are ingrained habits, some traditions and rituals must be put on the calendar so you can make time for them and plan.

* Prioritize. If you think you’re too busy for family traditions, take a hard look at your schedule and make some cuts. Saying “No” to some obligations means saying “Yes” to your family.

* Replace traditions that no longer apply. As children age and life changes, some traditions may no longer be appropriate. Don’t be afraid to try something new.