Deck the Halls With Fishnet Stockings . . .
A throng of models tugged at the hems of their micro-minis.
“Is this party for Details or Detour?” asked one.
!Ay carramba! If Detour publisher Luis Barajas had heard, he might have scooped a ball of imported snow off the lawn of the rented Hancock Park mansion where the magazine held its Christmas party Friday night and lobbed it their way.
What’s the point of feting hundreds of the city’s coolest cats and kittens if they can’t keep your name straight?
“We’re creating a community,” said the goateed Barajas, who observed his creation from the relative calm of an empty alcove.
By midnight, actors Joe Montegna and Brendan Fraser, a drag queen named Larry, designer and co-host Mossimo Gianulli, Russ Meyer and his triple-D-cup date, pancake-wearing male models, aspiring screenwriters in blazers and jeans, an irritated neighbor in robe and slippers and a couple of Los Angeles Police Department officers had made the scene.
Former O.J. Simpson retainer Kato Kaelin struck a pose. It was beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
We grabbed a cocktail and pondered which affectation was hipper: Pretending to engage in lucid conversation on a cel phone while a 12-piece band played on, or smoking a cigarette in a long, elegant holder while wearing gloves? Hmmmm.
The thing about not being cool is that those questions aren’t vexing on a personal level.
Like when a friend demanded a week earlier, “What are you going to wear to the party?”
Who really cares what we wear? we always wonder, but never say.
We asked a pretty, tattooed actress, who--like most people in the crowd--cared deeply about the way she looked, the provenance of her Christmasy red satin fur-trimmed hot pants.
“They’re Vivienne Westwood,” she said. “My mom had a shop in San Francisco and when I was little she would dress me in Vivienne and Anna Sui.” To the manner born, as it were.
Next we prowled the grounds, made a list, checked it twice.
Dear Santa,
All we want for Christmas are fishnet stockings, stiletto heels, several Wonderbras, a fake fur coat (preferably leopard), oh, and Elvis Presley sideburns for Mr. Inside Out .
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Is Nothing Sacred?: A parody of one of our favorite magazines, Martha Stewart Living, has hit bookstores, called--what else?--”Is Martha Stuart Living?” The $9.95 book offers instructions on “making water from scratch,” and such thoughtful gift suggestions as: “Warm up guests on a cold night with romantic, handmade condoms made from sheep’s intestines.”
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Future Plans: “Anne Klein was a very big commitment,” said Lisa Trafficante, wife and partner of designer Richard Tyler, from New York on Monday after the announcement that he would leave the company. Now, she said, there will be time to get ideas off the ground that had been on hold--like the relaunch of Tyler’s menswear line and the introduction of a secondary line.
“Working with Anne Klein reaffirmed that a second, less expensive line could be done,” she said. “We came back to Los Angeles and did a little trunk show in the store and felt how great it was to be back in our store.”
Trafficante added that although a “certain amount of sadness” accompanies the split from Anne Klein, “they have a very clear idea of the direction they want to go. And it was not the same as Richard’s direction.”
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Lethal Luxury: We have our eye on the perfect stainless steel Cartier watch, which we know is just a five-figure pipe dream. But thumbing through the pages of January Elle Decor we discovered an ad for something almost as good: Cartier Vendome Lights, Pearl Tipped, Luxury Slim, Light Cigarettes.
We thought designer cigarettes were a relic of the ‘80s, but there they were, looking so elegant, so classy, so . . . harmless in their alabaster box with gold crests and the words Paris, London, New York in gold type. Joe Camel should be so seductive.
Inside Out is published Thursdays.
