Questionable Wording

In the Dec. 9 report on the conviction of Robert Rose for child molestation, The Times twice used the word affair to describe what took place between this 49-year-old man and his 12-year-old religious education student.

The laws against statutory rape recognize that it is not psychologically possible for a minor to have the capacity to consent to sexual activity with an adult many years older than herself or himself. What took place was not an affair, but sexual abuse. He used his power as an older person in a position of trust to manipulate a minor into being victimized and exploited by him.

We as a society give our young people mixed messages about sexuality. The victim of this crime, herself, may think of what transpired as “an affair.” As psychotherapists working with survivors of abuse, we have often seen adults who were molested as children, believe it was “an affair” between consenting people. They cannot make the connection between their chronic symptoms of post-traumatic stress and the sexual abuse. This confusion leaves them feeling “crazy” when they have flashbacks and panic attacks and do not realize it is because they were traumatized.

The confusing, mixed messages society sends about sex between adults and minors also create an atmosphere in which this sort of abuse can continue, as it apparently did for many years at Ventura High School. How can the victim understand that what happened to her was wrong, and how can other victims expect anyone to help them stop being hurt, if they are surrounded by adults who call it “an affair?”

SHIRLEY M. FARMER

BARBARA ST. AMAND

SUSAN S. HARDY

PERRY COOK

Camarillo

The letter writers are associated with the New Beginnings Counseling Center.