Lonely Hearts Club : Flirting Convention Offers Tips on Breaking the Ice With That Special Someone

Picture a roomful of lonely hearts looking for love on a Friday night.

Now imagine them looking at each other--smiling warmly, casting the sexiest come-hither glances they can muster and struggling to think of a good opening line.

At a one-day flirting convention at the Red Lion Hotel, people from 19 to 79 heard a lecture on how to meet a romantic partner and spent the next few hours trying to do just that.

They also tested their abilities in a 30-minute competition for the titles of Mr. and Ms. Southern California Flirt, with the winners going to Las Vegas next month to vie for crowns as Mr. and Ms. USA Flirt.

“I’m a good flirt, no doubt about it, so I figured I’d be in my element tonight,” said Ted Hunt, 39, of Mount Washington, a small-business owner. “I can flirt with women, men, animals, birds, goldfish--seriously.”

Widely varied in age, the approximately 200 attendees seemed to share two obvious similarities.

“The common denominator is they all want to meet a romantic partner and are scared to death,” said Rich Gosse, a matchmaker whose company co-sponsored the event.

“The reason people have difficulty flirting is because they’re afraid to make a fool out of themselves. It’s the fear of looking foolish that makes it difficult to meet people. . . . Flirting is fun. Flirting is something we all naturally do.”

Gosse offers six basic tips to those who feel uncomfortable about approaching a stranger.

Unless both parties are physically attracted to each other, however, no amount of playful hinting will work, he says.

Gosse’s only warnings: Be careful with whom you flirt because you may never be able to get rid of the person, and never ask for someone’s telephone number right away. Instead, arrange a time and place to meet again and then ask for the number.

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Flirting Tips

Flirting expert Rich Gosse offers these words of advice to those who feel unnatural about approaching an attractive stranger 1. Maintain good eye contact: “You have to stare at people. You cannot be subtle,” he says. “You hae to stare for a minimum of two seconds to communicate the clear-cut message: I have the hots for you.” *

2. Smile: “If you don’t smile, you cannot be successful at flirting.” *

3. Say something: “Any opening line can work. You’ve got to say something, anything, in order to have a chance. Say the first thing that pops in your head. Anything is better than nothing.” *

4. Remember the person’s first name: “If you call them the wrong name, you damage their self-esteem. A person’s first name is the most precious word in the English language.” *

5. Make that person the center of attention (also known as the Johnny Carson technique). *

6. Stifle yourself: “The biggest mistake people make is to talk too much. You want to shut up and listen to them.”