Multicultural Manners : What’s In a Word? Everything

Each workday morning, several moms on the block drop off their toddlers with their Colombian baby-sitter, who takes excellent care of the children.

One afternoon, the sitter’s 13-year-old son, Ernesto, accompanies her as she walks the children back to their homes. When they arrive at Isa’s house, her father, Fred, greets them. It is the first time he has met Ernesto.

In halting English Ernesto says, “Your daughter is very beautiful.” Fred thanks him. Ernesto replies, “ No molesta .” A strange look crosses Fred’s face. Then when he sees his daughter kiss Ernesto good-bye, Fred becomes enraged.

What went wrong?

With heightened consciousness about sexual abuse, Fred had jumped to the conclusion that Ernesto’s statement meant “I didn’t molest her.” Although Fred’s wife challenged her husband’s Spanish-language skills, he insisted that he understood Spanish very well.

However, when his wife later related the incident to the other parents, one of the other fathers roared with laughter when he heard Ernesto’s exact words. This man, from Puerto Rico, then explained that in Spanish, molestar also means “to disturb.” All that Ernesto was trying to tell Fred about his daughter was that “She’s no trouble.” There was no hint of sexual abuse.

Rule: Even though a word in another language may be similar to one in English, it may have a completely different meaning.

Norine Dresser is a folklorist and author of “I Felt Like I Was From Another Planet,” (Addison Wesley). Tell her your experiences c/o Voices.