Longtime Loose Cannon Considers Nothing Very Funny
Max Feibelman is president and chief executive officer of Woodland Hills-based Nulle and Voyd Co., manufacturer of Absolutely Nothing. The company’s inventory includes Pure Dehydrated Water as well as Evacuated Air, both of which Feibelman claims are perfect gifts for certain people.
Those certain people might include drunks trying to make something out of Nothing, dieters who eat Nothing between meals, the medically doomed who are told Nothing will help and objects of desire who say, “Nothing doing.”
The Nulle and Voyd catalogue also includes more substantial items, including rare Hens’ Teeth, Polish Toilet Water and doormats welcoming Sasquatch or UFOs. Feibelman says the welcome mats are a disarming way to greet potentially menacing visitors, a way to put one’s best foot forward, as it were.
The Sasquatch mat not only says, “Welcome Bigfoot and Thanks for Wiping.” It also reads, “Emoclew Sasquatch DNA Sknaht rof gnipiw,” which Feibelman says is Abomilese--the language of Bigfeet--for the same thing.
Feibelman also is the author of “The Confessions of a Professional Smart Ass,” a paperback published in 1990 by MC Cubed Books in Van Nuys.
Feibelman also has appeared as the character Rosper Roe on television shows, in magazines and in promotions such as the trailer for the Warner Bros. movie “Dave,” which was about an average guy impersonating the President.
It probably should be mentioned that Rosper Roe looks and talks a great deal like chart-flipping billionaire and occasional political candidate Ross Perot.
Feibelman says Rosper Roe is the relative of other Roes, including Mary Lynmon Roe and Jamesmon Roe. He says Rosper Roe is often called upon to discuss the merits and demerits of the less famous case of Roe vs. Suede.
Feibelman’s curriculum vitae says he has also appeared as an inspirational and/or humorous speaker for corporate congregations sponsored by companies including McDonnell Douglas, NASA and Pepsi.
People who might dismiss Feibelman as a cornflake should peruse the rest of his resume.
Born in Vicksburg, Miss., he graduated from the U. S. Military Academy at West Point. He holds two master’s degrees--one from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Boston, the other from the Atomic Energy School at Keesler Air Force Base, sponsored by the University of Colorado.
He spent 21 years on active duty in the military, primarily in the research, development and testing of military aircraft. He was a command pilot and one of the first officers assigned to the U. S. Air Force missile program. His last posting was at the Pentagon as executive officer for Strategic and Defense Forces. He mustered out as a lieutenant colonel and went into the private sector.
At Litton Industries, Feibelman served as a director of planning, as well as assistant to a vice president. He also has been an officer and/or consultant to other companies, such as Sierra Research, Sycom Inc., Pacific Research Inc. and Argus Security.
He is a member of the West Point Society of Los Angeles, the Air Force Assn., the Fighter Pilots Assn. and the American Defense Preparedness Assn.
So when, one might ask, did this straight arrow get so bent out of shape?
The truth is that he was always a loose cannon, suffering from an acute sense of the absurd and a mouth that roared frequently.
He recalls once, early in his military career, when he was standing inspection with his P-47 Thunderbolt at Clark Air Force in the Philippines, one of the inspecting generals noticed aluminum filings on the floor of the plane, left by the crew chief after making modifications to the radio.
“How are you going to get them out of there?” Maj. Gen. Eugene Eubanks asked of then-Lt. Feibelman.
“General, I am going to take this aircraft up to altitude, crack open the canopy slightly and the filings will be sucked out,” the smart-aleck junior officer said with a straight face.
He’s been straight-facing it ever since.
Asked how old he is, he admits only to being over the age of consent, adding he never consents to anything. The old Southern smoothie is willing to place the blame or credit for his book and his Rosper Roe character on one of his best friends, Bill Dana, a comedian who still hides behind his alter ego, Jose Jimenez.
Feibelman and Dana were doing some last-minute holiday shopping at Bullock’s Wilshire in Westwood in 1978 when Feibelman made an announcement: “Next year I am giving Absolutely Nothing for Christmas,” said Feibelman.
“And your manufacturing company could be called Nulle and Voyd,” Dana chimed in, delighted.
Ergo a new, if not profit-making, company was born.
Feibelman admits to making a lot more money from motivational talks and consulting work than he does from products in the Nulle and Voyd catalogue. “I end up giving away more than I sell,” says Feibelman, who admits to knowing not much about running a business.
He insists items such as the doormats ($20), dehydrated potable water ($1.50) and a doctorate degree in being a smartass from the Nulle and Voyd University ($2) are stocked and ready for shipping.
He also considers some of his words to live by, given at seminars, a great contribution to society. Asked for an example, he offers this politically correct suggestion: “Flies spread diseases. Keep yours zipped.”
Driving Obsession Made Him Mechanic to the Stars
Wayne Robinson runs what might be considered the Lourdes of foreign and domestic cars from his garage on Sherman Way near Fulton Avenue in North Hollywood.
Solo Performance attracts celebrities the likes of Johnny Carson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Keaton and Jay Leno, who, according to Robinson, has more than 50 muscle and classic cars.
The Valley-born Robinson, a graduate of Grant High School, says Leno first came to his shop in 1986 after the comedian and soon-to-be talk show host learned that Robinson raced and repaired Shelby and Cobra cars, both of which Leno owned.
After that, according to Robinson, word of mouth brought in other celebrities, particularly those who work in studios around the North Hollywood-Studio City-Burbank area. “I have never advertised,” he says.
Robinson adds that he is also able to repair cars like Leno’s 1915 Hispano Suiza, powered by an airplane engine, because he runs a machine shop where he makes parts in the back of his car-coddling complex.
Robinson, who started working on cars as a child, now owns 11 cars, although he no longer races them. He now races classic airplanes. He says some of his cars are just cooling their tires in the repair lot, waiting for him to fix them.
“When you repair cars for a living, working on your own is the last thing you want to do in your spare time,” he says.
Overheard:
“I think they should make helmets mandatory for spectators at golf tournaments where Presidents and former Presidents are playing.”
Golfer at a Woodland Hills country club commenting on former Presidents Bush and Ford smacking spectators with golf balls at a recent tournament in the Palm Springs area. One elderly woman required 10 stitches for her head.
