But Where Does the Extra Battery Go?

The Wired Ones: While much has been said about who’s hot and who’s not among Oscar night party-goers, the Social Climes staff noticed that a certain hierarchy existed among party staff members, where subtle gradations of status can be determined by examining electronic equipment.

Thus, at the bottom, are the flunkies with no appliances or devices at all. Next are those wearing walkie-talkies but no headsets. Further up the ladder you find those with walkie-talkies and headsets, while the party staff elite cavort with neat little cellular phones.

Of course, the Social Climes staff frowns upon toadying of any kind, but we believe that if you must suck up to the party staff to gain entry, head for the person who’s the most electronically endowed.

And by the way, to that fellow we spotted before the Governor’s Ball with a walkie-talkie, headset and a cellular phone, check your mailbox this December. You’ve made the Social Climes Christmas gift list.

Your Secret’s Safe--For Now: With some circumspection, we inform that pretty boy rock star at that very exclusive recent party that of all the people to stumble up to and ask where you can get drugs, you picked a member of the Social Climes staff.

While we don’t traffic in illicit substances, we neither traffic in the kind of malicious gossip better left to the supermarket checkout stands. So not to worry. Until we change jobs, our lips are sealed.

Getting In Their 64 Worth: Everyone noticed that supporting the National Endowment for the Arts was this year’s Oscar night cause celebre, but after the ceremony, many people groused that unless you had an extremely high-resolution TV, the jacket pins that everyone in Hollywood’s politically caring contingent seemed to be wearing looked like a strip of white adhesive tape.

They were, of course, two U.S. Postal Service “G” stamps symbolizing the fact that the NEA’s tab per taxpayer comes out to 64 a year. To make a visually stronger point, we suggest that next year everyone switch to Elvis stamps.

--COMPILED BY THE SOCIAL CLIMES STAFF