New developments in the luggage mystery: Could...

New developments in the luggage mystery: Could this be the film the Simpson defense is going to spring on the prosecution?

We learned of it through a reader, Joe Cislowski of L.A. The footage shows a family in the baggage area of Los Angeles International Airport. Their son expresses the hope that he’ll see a celebrity.

Just then Simpson approaches the boy’s mother and tells her, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I believe this is my bag.”

As Simpson leaves, he trips over another bag and sends pieces of luggage flying in all directions. He’s still lying on the floor when the woman’s husband accidentally steps on his hand. You can hear the cracking sound as the shoe crunches his fingers.

Of course, like Cislowski, you may already have seen the film.

It played on KCOP (Channel 13) the other night. It’s “Back to the Beach,” a 1987 comedy starring Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon, who portray the airport couple.

And Simpson, of course, plays himself.

Getting straight with listeners: Don’t know if you’ve heard, but Tammy Bruce, a lesbian talk-show radio personality, recently told her KFI audience that she was actually married to a man. She explained that she had adopted the lesbian label 18 months ago only because she needed a “hook” to get into radio.

As you can imagine, Bruce, the head of the L.A. chapter of National Organization for Women, was flooded with calls. Many listeners were stunned. Others said they knew she was straight all along--by the sound of her voice, the way she dealt with men on the air, etc., etc.

What the listeners forgot was that Bruce, who is indeed gay, made the announcement on April Fool’s Day.

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Honk if you love karate: Gerald Jones of L.A. came upon a Christian version of a self-defense course usually associated with the Far East. An alternative to turning the other cheek, we suppose.

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The in crowd: Sara Meric sent us the announcement of a Friends of the Santa Monica Public Library event, which will be open to the public April 29-30. There’s also an April 28 “member preview.”

The event: “The Fall Used Book Sale.”

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Playing POSSLQ: “Some years ago Jack Smith wrote a column using the term POSSLQ, which was used by the census bureau for Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters,” recalls William Pollock of Pacific Palisades. “His column, as I recall, used the brief couplet: You love me and I love you/ Will you be my POSSLQ?

“Today I saw this license plate on a white Mercedes roadster driven by a beautiful woman--X POSSLQ. I have no knowledge of whether they are now married or someone moved out. Sic transit Gloria, or maybe Mabel.”

miscelLAny “North of Montana,” a mystery novel by April Smith, is set not in the Pacific Northwest but in Santa Monica--north of Montana Avenue.