Lost In Cyberspace : Wise Up to the Information Age : It’s fairly easy to ride the electronic superhighway; it’s harder not to get waylaid by the scenery--a plethora of topics just waiting to be explored.

I am “delurking” in cyberspace and enjoying it immensely. Anyone who has ever peered through an open window or cocked their ear to catch a snatch of conversation knows the feeling--the thrill of peeking, heightened nicely by the sense of doing something naughty.

Man: Do we have anything to say about who we fall in love with?

Woman No. 1: I have learned that to love anyone else I must first love myself.

Man: Excellent answer.

Woman No. 2: I am a nudist.

Woman No. 1: Do you believe in soulmates?

Man to Woman No. 2: Nudist girl. Come to my back yard and sunbathe, please?

Man to Woman No. 1: Having studied Eastern philosophy extensively, I do.

Woman No. 2: Why would I sunbathe nude in the back yard of a complete stranger?

Woman No. 1: I don’t know if I do. I don’t even know if I believe in true love.

Man: You do believe in true love. You seek it constantly. Trust me.

Party crasher: Does anyone feel that we, as a species, are missing out on a valuable part of the DNA as an evolutionary step?

Woman No. 2: Nude sunbathing is oh so good.

From here the conversation disintegrated quickly; I’ll leave the rest to your own lusty imagination. But the important point remains. Here in the virtual world--”on-line” in computer parlance--everything and anything goes, and there’s no telling where it will go next. In fact, there’s no telling where it came from either.

This threesome on which I delurked--on-line lingo for anonymously eyeballing conversation as it appears across the computer screen--should not be taken at face value. “Eastern philosopher” could be a gum-snapping 15-year-old. “Nudist girl” could be a beefy plumber from Cleveland. On the information superhighway, you just never know.

Despite all the enthusiastic hollering in recent years by computer types with pasty complexions and stunted social skills, the information superhighway remains a mystery to some of us. It’s a daunting term that crops up with annoying regularity, leading us to reach for the beer nuts and the remote.

While folks already navigating the highway question religion and ethics as well as the merits of Spam, we on the outside wrestle with deeper issues. The Internet, on-line services such as Prodigy, CompuServe and America Online, those E-mail addresses that look like something your 4-year-old typed--what the hell is that stuff?

To be on-line, connected via computer to millions of other computers and millions of other people, is to be privy to all manner of wonder and confusion.

Despite this, or perhaps because of it, many people refuse to climb aboard the rampaging info-express, displaying sound logic in opting to remain ignorant.

“They say if it’s on the market, it’s already obsolete, so what’s the point?” a friend asked me.

My own staunch resistance to the information superhighway gradually eroded. The little bit I’d read about on-line services and the Internet sounded intriguing. My job as an intrepid journalist requires the amassing of many important facts and genuine research of a serious nature.

I concluded that the superhighway would be a critical research tool, allowing me to browse documents from the Office of Technology Assessment or check in on NASA’s flight maintenance schedules. Plus I’d read that on the Internet, you can get sex tips.

The clincher came about a month ago when my friend Joan called. Joan had been on America Online for several weeks. Judging from the excitement in her voice, she was either enthralled with cyberspace or had moments earlier discovered the Hope diamond in her pocket.

“There’s 10 major newspapers, 10 major magazines, 50 specialty magazines and all kinds of other stuff,” gushed Joan. “It’s absolutely amazing, a complete miracle. With the press of a button, I can learn about wine, bicycling and backpacking.”

Then she said something that got my attention. Two of the biggest on-line services--Prodigy and America Online--offer a free trial period. All I had to do was call a toll-free number and they would send me the software--one small disk and an instruction packet--free in the mail. If things didn’t work out, I could hold the disk over an open flame and no one would bill me for it.

I know something about computers, which is to say I have one and use it only for the most rudimentary of tasks. That’s also enough to know that the infernal machines can be maddening. So when the software arrived (I chose America Online because it had impressive research capabilities and it offered access to the Internet), I called my cousin Joe in Virginia. Joe knows computers. An engineer for Sprint, he works with them for a living. He is familiar with the reason for my calls.

“What’s wrong with your computer now?” he said.

Ignoring his tone of piqued irritation, I explained that I was ready to join the 21st Century, that I wanted to tap into the information age. And because I was terrified, I wanted him to help me do it.

“You’re just terrified because you want to be terrified,” Joe huffed. Actually, said Joe, the hardest thing would be choosing my on-line name. When it comes to names, many stay with the name their parents gave them. Other on-line users opt for clever wordplay, names such as “Garbled Uplink,” “Mnemonic” and “Leather Babe.”

“A lot of people just use dumb names so people don’t know who they are,” Joe said.

*

This sounded like a good idea to me, but Joe would have none of it. I had no reason to hide, said Joe. And besides, if I chose a name that wasn’t my own, I’d probably forget it.

The package I received in the mail from America Online promised that I’d be hooked up and operational in 15 minutes. Truth is, it took Joe and I three days, but I won’t get into that. I can’t blame the folks at America Online. It was mostly the fault of my computer, which wasn’t up to snuff. Joe was unkind enough to describe it as a dinosaur.

Finally, at 6:25 p.m. on a Monday, I tapped the appropriate keys. My computer dialed a local access number, and there was a beep indicating successful connection. I was on-line. A bona fide participant in the information age. Joe offered his congratulations.

“Welcome to the wonderful world of on-line computers,” he said. “Now you’ll be able to neglect your family, forget your friends and learn everything you never wanted to know about everything.”

As soon as Joe hung up, I began exploring. Initially I found this to be a simple matter. Choices are highlighted in boxes--you simply move the mouse to your box of choice and click. I tried to find my way into one of those talk lobbies where I might eavesdrop on a conversation involving wife swapping or how to permanently muffle the neighbor’s hyper-vocal beagle. Somehow I found myself in the travel and leisure section instead. There I discovered a great place for pizza near Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C.

The next day a friend called, curious about my initial venture.

“Did you do any research?” he asked.

Of course. What had he expected me to do, fritter valuable time away?

“How did it go?”

I told him about the pizza.

“Fabulous,” he said.

There was a long silence on the phone.

“Were you trying to find that out?”

Herein lies the glory and curse of the information age. The push of a button provides opportunity for both profound knowledge and immeasurable waste of time. Imagine wandering through a maze where every few feet there are side passageways through which one can glimpse curiosities not quite formed. You might come to understand the North American Free Trade Agreement. Or, you can learn how to build a cigar humidor out of plastic food containers.

Each time I logged on, I vowed that my stride would be resolute, my pursuit of important research focused and dogged. Each time I wandered aimlessly, following a path that would be an inspiration to a schizophrenic with attention deficit disorder. I was the high school senior, my guidance counselors Beavis and Butt-head.

It was a waste of time, but it was great fun too. I read about the Bonobo ape’s inclination toward casual sex. I encountered thought-provoking opinion (“The only thing missing from rap is the ‘C’ in front of it,” typed one on-liner). I took a seat in the MTV auditorium to listen while Courtney Love, lead singer for rock band Hole, talked with her fans.

Actually I got there 10 minutes late, which was OK because, befitting rock ‘n’ roll, Courtney was late, too. When she did arrive, she began answering questions from the audience (they typed the questions to a moderator, who passed them on to Courtney, who replied with typed missives of her own, mostly strings of expletives that appeared across my computer screen).

In the end, though, the plethora of information was simply too much. I needed help. So I met with Mark Gibbs. Gibbs is a Ventura resident and author of several books, including “Navigating the Internet” (Sams Publishing), a wonderfully witty and clear road map for novice netters--”newbies” in the parlance.

First off, Gibbs helped me distinguish between being on-line and being on the Internet. Being on-line, hooked into one of the big commercial on-line services or the dozens of smaller competitors, explained Gibbs, allows access to many things--hundreds of consumer services, impressive research databases, E-mail and some really cool computer games.

But that paled in comparison to the Internet, the vast armada of some 3.7 million interlinked computers that offers anything you might think of and thousands of things you’d never consider. Granted, some on-line services, America Online for one, offer access to the Internet, but that access, said Gibbs, is limited. This explained why I’d had no luck finding my way to the sex tips.

*

Of course, I didn’t tell Gibbs that. I simply nodded and tried to look intelligent while he explained that the Internet was the future and it couldn’t be ignored now.

“We live in an infoculture, a culture based on the exchange of information,” Gibbs said. “If you want to compete in the marketplace, you have to know more and know it sooner. Information is what it’s all about these days. Anybody who thinks it isn’t is kidding themselves.

“That’s why the Internet is so wonderful. You’re interacting with 21 million people in about the freest information exchange environment you’ll ever come across.”

Gibbs himself communicates regularly with folks in Russia, New Zealand, Africa and Japan. He knew of a research biologist in the Virgin Islands who used the Internet, his messages shooting up to passing satellites that downloaded the information to waiting computers when the satellites swung over U.S. soil.

Gibbs went on to explain various Internet features, powerful research tools such as Gopher (a file-locating utility), WAIS (Wide Area Information Service, a sort of electronic reference librarian) and newsgroups. I found all this interesting, especially the newsgroups, which are basically special-interest clubs in which members discuss and field questions about topics dear to them.

Need to refresh yourself on a few nuances of Chinese chess? Type “rec.games.chinese chess,” post your question and in a matter of days you could have 526 answers. Currently there are some 8,500 newsgroups on the Internet and they are easily accessed, though a misguided click might whisk a prospective genealogist directly into a gay and lesbian forum.

Along with answering your questions, plenty of on-line users are also quite willing to tell you where to go. I’d read that cybersnobs who already inhabit the on-line services and the Internet aren’t entirely keen on the flood of greenhorns invading their world at an estimated rate of 2 million a year. Gibbs allowed that the virtual world does strange things to people.

“One of the things that you’ll find when you get on the Internet is that people don’t act normally, they get very weird,” Gibbs said. “It’s a simple matter, really. Nobody can see you. You can be gratuitously unpleasant, you can lie, you can cheat, you can misinform, you can obfuscate. You can pretty much do whatever you please and you’re not accountable for it.”

This sounded no different than tactics I’ve used in conversations with sales and insurance company representatives.

Gibbs continued: “Actually, it’s really good stuff. People have found, for example, that they’ve been having this passionate exchange of letters with Francis. Turns out it’s Frank. He’s just doing it to have fun.”

*

Even Gibbs, ostensibly an expert in the field, has had his embarrassing moments. On one occasion, after a series of E-mail letters were ignored by an executive at a company with which Gibbs did business, Gibbs sent an E-mail letter to the man’s secretary. Gibbs’ message was somewhat curt. The secretary E-mailed him back.

“She sent me back a message saying, ‘I resent the message you sent to Fred,’ ” Gibbs said. “I thought, ‘You do indeed.’ I phoned her up. I said, ‘What do you mean you resent the message? You’re his secretary, not his mother. You’ve got no right to resent anything.’ ”

Gibbs paused.

“She interrupted me. She said, ‘What I wrote to you was I re-sent the information.’ I never knew I was so good at groveling.”

I have yet to do anything so foolish, namely because I haven’t communicated with anyone. I realize that this defeats the purpose of the information superhighway. But for the moment, I am driving on the shoulder, conducting exploratory strikes, getting a feel for the strange new world in which I am moving. You know, research.

Let me tell you about this remarkable method for sculpturing Spam.

* Page design by DAN SANTOS / Los Angeles Times

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How to Get On-Line

For the beginner looking to get on the information superhighway, the large, user-friendly on-line services are the way to go. They’ll send you what you need to get started, and they even have staff at the ready to answer your questions should you lose your way. Granted, they only offer limited access to the Internet--the granddaddy of all information systems--but if you’re computer inept, venturing directly onto the Internet is a bit like riding a bicycle on the Autobahn. You might want to try these service first:

America Online: Call (800) 827-6364. Trial subscription: 10 hours free.

Compuserve: Call (800) 848-8990. No trial subscription.

Prodigy: Call 800-PRODIGY. Trial subscription: 10 hours free.

So You Want to Send Some Mail . . .

One of the most popular features of the information superhighway is electronic mail, better known as E-mail. An estimated 100 million people use E-mail now. As soon as you do you’ll understand why E-mail advocates call traditional mail “snail mail.” Type up your letter, press a button and blip!--it goes directly into the recipient’s computer.

This remarkable technology allows you to communicate with some pretty interesting people:

* The Dalai Lama--tcrc@unv.ernet.in

* Newt Gingrich--georgia6@hr.house.gov

* Al Gore--vice.president@whitehouse.gov

* Keith Richards--stones@delphi.com

* Noam Chomsky--chomsky@athena.mit.edu

* Butt-head--butthead@mtv.com

Read Before You Leap

Most people view computer books as intimidating tomes with the clarity of espresso and the liveliness of drying cement. There are exceptions to this rule. Several informative, and understandable, books on the Internet:

* “Navigating the Internet,” by Richard J. Smith and Mark Gibbs (Sams Publishing)

* “The Internet Directory,” by Eric Braun (Fawcett/Columbine)

* “The Internet Business Book,” by Jill H. Ellsworth and Matthew V. Ellsworth (John Wiley and Sons Inc.)

* “Zen and the Art of the Internet,” by Brendan P. Kehoe (Prentice Hall)

Your Link to The Times

If you’re a news junkie or a junk collector, TimesLink can be your link to cyberspace.

Tapping into the resources of the Los Angeles Times, user-friendly TimesLink provides local and worldwide news coverage as well as a vast array of information on subjects ranging from Ventura County real estate prices to the best hikes in the Los Padres National Forest.

TimesLink subscribers can browse articles in national magazines and scan the Associated Press news wire. They also have on-line access to The Times classifieds, which appear on TimesLink even before going into the paper.

TimesLink is available to Prodigy subscribers for $4.95 a month, but you don’t have to take Prodigy to get TimesLink.

* FYI: The $6.95-a-month TimesLink-only fee gets you unlimited sign-on time; call (800) 792-LINK to subscribe. Additional charges for bulletin boards, chat rooms and E-mail.

Getting Onto the Internet

There are lots of ways to get onto the Internet, most of them baffling to the newcomer.

For most people, the best bet is a dial-up connection to a service supplier. Again, what you need is minimal: a computer with a fast modem, a phone line, Internet software and access to the Internet, provided by the service supplier of your choice.

There are about 250 independent Internet access providers nationwide that can hook you up as easily as starting phone service.

There are two local suppliers you might consider: RAIN (Regional Alliance for Information Networking at 899-8610, and Silicon Beach at 730-7740.)

There’s also Internet in a Box (to order call 800-777-9638). It has everything you need, namely the software for Internet access and a system that automatically sets up your connection to the Internet.

Apparently getting on the Internet will soon become even easier still. Before the end of this year, Microsoft will begin offering “one-button” access to the Internet to anyone who buys Windows 95 (the network software comes bundled with every copy of Windows 95).

Remember, too, that some of the on-line services, specifically America Online and CompuServe, offer limited access to the Internet--and that access will be expanding quickly.