Homebound Dad Is There for Daughter

I was amused to read your article about the “new dads” (“Being There,” March 22), especially your opening anecdote about the committed father who works until 8:30 p.m. and then wants his daughter to stay up until midnight so they can play together.

It seems to me that a father who does not arrive home until 8:30 at night is not “being there” for his child.

Who takes care of his daughter the rest of the day? How much time do they really spend together? How involved in a child’s life can a father be when he is gone all the time?

Like most dads with small children today, I work long hours at a challenging job. My wife also works hard, and in addition usually bears the responsibility of running the household. But before our daughter was born, my wife and I made a decision to “be there” in a basic way by arranging our lives so we could work at home on flexible schedules.

My business has grown to the point where I should move out of the house and get an office.

But to do that would be to sacrifice the most important things I have given my daughter--free access to me as a parent and a vivid, demystified understanding of what I do all day long.

Barely an hour goes by without her coming in to talk to me, hug me, show me something, or borrow scissors or tape for an art project. When her friends come to visit, she boasts that I work at home and she can come and see me any time she wants.

The results are not always easy to cope with. It’s not unusual for her to be tugging on my arm and whispering in my ear while I am speaking to someone important on the telephone. But the truth is that I love it. And my daughter and I have a wonderfully close and loving relationship. “Being there” literally, not just intellectually, is worth the price.

WILLIAM FULTON

Ventura