Forget Birdies and Eagles, Think Beavers and Machetes

Golf Digest magazine’s search for the most ridiculous, but real, golf tournament names turned up these entries:

Beaver Pelt Invitational: First pelt isn’t for score but for size of divot; staged in South Carolina.

Hack, Slash & Chop Invitational: No scores, no prizes, but a great club logo--a machete, sword and an ax; held at various sites.

Fly Open: Several golfing couples from Lynnfield, Mass., compete for an old-fashioned bedpan.

Opopogo Open: Named for a mythical British Columbia sea serpent.

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Trivia time: What was significant about Carl Lewis’ unimpressive winning long jump of 26 feet 8 1/4 inches Saturday at the Mt. San Antonio College Relays in Walnut?

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Edison protege: Coach John Robinson conducted interviews with his players during USC’s final day of spring football practice a week ago Saturday.

When he asked walk-on receiver Benji DeBord what his major was, the player said it was engineering. Replied Robinson jokingly: “Isn’t that light sockets and stuff?”

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A good start: Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post writes that Mike Tyson should eschew the tuneups and go right to a big-money match against George Foreman:

“There’s too much downside in tuneups, though if I were Tyson, I’d be tempted to start my comeback by punching my lawyer first.”

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Hip heavyweight: Oliver McCall, World Boxing Council heavyweight champion, on his previous lack of commitment:

“Until the Lennox Lewis fight, I never trained with any desire or commitment. I was what you call a hip-hopping, hot-dogging, drinking, scheming big-daddy son of a gun.”

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Spare us: Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press discussing Deion Sanders’ rap CD, “Prime time,” including such rap singles as “Prime Time Keeps on Ticking,” “House of Prime,” and “2 Be Me”:

“The music world doesn’t need it, any more than the sports world needs to see Elton John return a kickoff.”

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Divine hunch bet? Friday night, at the opening of the quarter-horse and thoroughbred meeting at the Los Alamitos Race Course, Hooly Moses won the fifth race and paid $16.80. It was, of course, on Good Friday and the start of Passover.

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Poverty case? Bernard Gilkey, the St. Louis Cardinal left fielder, on signing a $975,000 deal, far short of his 1994 salary of $1.6 million:

“It’s something I have to live with. It is the way it is now and I’m not going to just dwell on it.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1966, the Lakers defeated the Celtics, 133-129, in overtime at Boston Garden in the first game of the NBA championship series. Boston won in seven games.

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Trivia answer: That mark was a world record when set by Jesse Owens on May 25, 1935, in Ann Arbor, Mich., and it lasted for 25 years.

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Quotebook: Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg Times: “Trust me. If Jules Verne had known about the World League of American Football, he would have written ‘20,001 Leagues Under the Sea.’ ”