OC HIGH: STUDENT NEWS AND VIEWS : What Teachers Say Isn’t Always What I Hear

Progress reports and seating charts are kind of like psychological ink-blots. The Rorschach of high school insecurity.

For instance, what does it mean when a teacher submits a progress report when you’re not flunking a course? I go from immediate paranoia, to panic attack, to mild hysteria and finallyarrive at brain-wracking wonder.

And then I work my way back up to paranoia. I do that in a logical, reasonable method. First, I rationalize that all teachers must give progress reports. But then I count my progress report--only three teachers. Well, maybe not everybody sends a report.

Then I convince myself that the teachers who give progress reports are the ones who are interested in me. Again I count the number of teachers on my progress report and decide three out of seven is not reason for optimism.

I resume my frantic worry by hypothesizing that only the teachers out to get me send progress reports.

Exactly what does “a pleasure to have in class” mean? Especially if I know that I never say a word in class and never know the answer when I reluctantly am forced to speak. I know the teacher must be playing some cruel joke on me, planning to expose my deficiencies as a public speaker at some critical point in the future.

If I’m getting a C in class, I assume it’s because I’m getting Cs on the tests, especially if there is no homework in that class. So the point of writing “low test scores” to explain my grade seems rather redundant. That teacher is rubbing it in.

But what drives me to the ultimate misery of insecurity are teachers who send progress reports without any grades.

What is the purpose? Does this mean extra attention should be paid to the comments? Doesn’t the teacher like me?

I’m bound to over-analyze any comment. But “working below ability” is one of the most worrisome remarks. Especially if you think you’re trying your hardest. You feel really stupid. But conversely, the phrase “does excellent work,” when actually you’re barely writing your name on your homework and kind of sliding it in, makes you feel that your teacher thinks you’re an idiot.

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Progress reports are not the only thing that drives students to distraction. There is also that dreaded thing called a seating chart.

The really ominous type is the kind that doesn’t follow alphabetical order (which I am especially fond of, since I usually get to sit in the back) or random names out of box.

This type of seating chart is arbitrary. One day, the teacher lets you sit anywhere; the next you’re in the middle of people you don’t want to be near in a spot of the classroom you really don’t like.

I always find myself measuring how much the teacher likes a student by the distance between their desk and the student’s desk. And whenever I get stuck by the air conditioner or in an obscure corner, I am positive that the teacher wants me as far away as possible--without looking too suspicious.

Sometimes I find myself sitting (horrors!) in the front row. Surely it’s because my teachers know I abhor sitting there--I can’t sleep, I can’t talk to anyone, I can’t look anywhere except toward the front of the classroom.

It’s conceivable that teachers send progress reports and assign seating because they always have.

But it’s our fragile egos they’re dealing with here. A little more thought and compassion might ease some of the inconsequential things that add up and complicate students’ lives.

Teachers periodically evaluate students through grades, reports and conferences. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m an animal in a zoo. I’m being prodded and stared at and made to do things I really don’t want to in order to stay in the zoo.

Maybe the students should have a chance to evaluate the teachers. Send them progress reports. Now, there’s an idea.