L.A. will always be in demand: Jeffrey...

L.A. will always be in demand: Jeffrey Shore of West L.A. writes that after all the catastrophes that have struck here, he was “no longer sure exactly what was so special about our treasured city.”

Then he found an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about the making of “Up Close and Personal,” a movie that deals with a TV reporter’s coverage of a riot.

While the movie is set in Philadelphia, the newspaper notes, “the actual riot scene will be filmed in Los Angeles.”

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Still no sign of any F. Lee Bailey groupies: Two single-engine planes circled the L.A. Civic Center on Wednesday morning, towing a lunch invitation from an apparent fan of Marcia Clark. We wouldn’t get too pushy with a prosecutor.

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A mall that wants no repeat business: The Maryland Film Commission announced in the Hollywood Reporter last January that it had a defunct shopping center available for any interested movie-maker.

“USE AND DESTROY,” the commission’s blurb said. The Rockville Metro Center’s resume contained these vital stats: “Urban 70s, Bi-Level, 7 Acres--4,000 sq. ft.”

Alas, the mall is still standing. “We had a couple of people look at it a while back but we don’t know how serious they were,” said Mike Styer, director of the Film Commission.

The Oklahoma City tragedy didn’t help matters, either.

Next, the commission will be hawking the mall in June at L.A.’s Show Biz West convention. Time is running out, though. The shopping center is due to be bulldozed later in the year.

“I know just what’ll happen,” Styer said, with a laugh. “Two weeks after the city destroys it, we’ll hear from some movie maker who needs an old shopping center.”

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Talk about eating disorders: Dale Cooper of West Los Angeles spotted an item in a local paper reporting that a suspect had “snacked” a pedestrian’s purse.

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If there’s such a thing as a dream crash . . . : Erin McGonigle writes in the Auto Club magazine Avenues that her husband, Michael, was driving on the 405 when he was distracted by a procession of black limos in another lane. Too late he noticed that the traffic in front of him had halted. He slammed on his brakes, but his car spun out of control--and crashed into one of the limos.

Next, she says, several “men in dark suits . . . with their hands tucked inside their jackets” jumped out of the damaged luxury car and climbed into another. The procession resumed, “leaving us and the damaged limo behind.”

Then, a man who turned out to be a Secret Service agent stepped out of the deserted car and walked over. The McGonigles asked if he wanted to see their papers. “He just smiled,” McGonigle wrote, “and said, ‘No need. That car has only 53 miles on it but he’s going to leave it behind. After all, the oil minister of Kuwait doesn’t really need your money.’ ”

miscelLAny:

Elementary students will coach gastropods racing up 13-inch-high poles in the annual Great Snail Race, May 20 at the Puente Hills Mall. Last year’s winner blazed the course in 2 minutes and 25 seconds.