How Michigan Policy to Preserve Families...

The oldest boy was 4 1/2 years old. He couldn’t hold silverware, grunted to get his foster father’s attention and didn’t know his ABCs beyond the first three letters.

The youngest, 7 months, had sunken cheeks and dark eyes. He could drink from a bottle only if it were propped up alongside his mouth. He wouldn’t sleep in his crib or anyone’s arms, but nodded off when placed in an infant carrier.

The 2-year-old could eat four bowls of cereal and ask for more. When he and his brother played in the living room of their foster home, they ran away if anyone came in.

“They both knew two instincts: If you see it and can get it, eat it. And if someone comes in the room, run and hide because you’re going to get beaten,” said Jim Williams, the three boys’ foster father and soon-to-be adoptive parent.

Williams and his wife, Pamela, were near the top of an adoption agency’s waiting list in 1992 when the Macomb County Department of Social Services contacted them about the boys.

Williams said they were told that the agency planned to terminate parental rights and that they would be able to adopt the children within about three months.

They agreed. But instead, the agency moved toward reunifying the mother and sons. It took two years before the Williamses were able to start adoption proceedings--and only because the mother voluntarily terminated her parental rights, saying she could see the damage done to the boys.

“They didn’t give a damn about the kids,” Williams said of the social workers and judges. “That’s the real tragic thing.”

The children’s mother had repeatedly left them with friends and relatives. In June, 1992, she tried to put them up for adoption, but their imprisoned father refused to terminate his parental rights.

The children stayed with their grandmother briefly, but she became overwhelmed. A friend told her about the Williamses and she had the state agency contact them, said Williams, a lawyer in suburban Detroit.

The Williamses sat with the oldest boy through night terrors, helplessly watching him scream and punch the air in his sleep. The middle boy ran into his foster father’s arms each time he came home from work yelling, “You came back,” with joy in his voice. The children began overcoming their fears. The family grew closer.

At an April, 1993, hearing, social workers recommended the state terminate parental rights. But the judge disagreed, so the department never filed a petition, Williams said.

Williams said the state agency began trying to reunify the children with their mother, who lives outside of Michigan and could not be reached for comment. Agency officials refused to comment, citing confidentiality laws.

In June, 1993, the agency flew her in to visit the boys, whom she hadn’t seen in about a year. On a Monday, the boys returned, distressed and confused. On Tuesday, the oldest vomited and had night tremors. It continued all week.

“But the kids knew nothing but to be friendly, be happy and play during the visits. So in the view of DSS (the agency), that was fine,” Williams said.

At an August hearing, the social worker reported that the visitation went wonderfully and that the mother was cooperating.

The Williamses were accused of interfering with efforts to reunify the family and the judge ordered the children out of their home that day. The boys were sent to a youth home, and the judge told the Williamses they could say goodby.

“It was the toughest 10 minutes I spent,” Williams said. “Jon (the oldest boy), Pam and I just cried for the whole 10 minutes.

“Jon was like, ‘You mean I won’t be able to see Justin anymore? You mean I won’t be able to ride my bike anymore? You mean I won’t be able to see my cousins anymore?’

“I told him, ‘You’ve got to remember two things: That no matter what happens, we’ll always love you, and that we’ll always try to do whatever we can to help you.’ It was torture. Just torture.”

The boys then went to another foster home. Three weeks later, the mother’s relatives testified before a state Senate panel that she had abused the boys. The hearing was called by a lawmaker who said the case was “a tragedy waiting to happen.”

That day, the children’s lawyer appealed the decision to remove the boys from the Williams home and a judge immediately ordered the children returned.

The father contacted Williams and said he would terminate his parental rights, but the case dragged on for another year.

Finally, in mid-September, the mother contacted Williams and said she wanted the kids to stay there. She has terminated her parental rights, and the Williamses are moving toward adopting the boys.

“Both she and her mother said this is exactly what they intended to happen 2 1/2 years ago,” Williams said, “and it would have happened but for DSS.”