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Pride of ownership: “My ’82 Toyota was...

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Pride of ownership: “My ’82 Toyota was stolen last month from in front of my apartment,” writes Art Fein of Hollywood. “Crushed fender, 158,000 miles--a real catch.”

A few days later, he received a call from El Monte police who said it had been recovered.

“How is it?’ Fein asked, fearing it was stripped.” “Looks fine,” the cop said. “The radio’s still in it.”

Fein thought that “odd since it had no radio when it was stolen. I had taken my pull-out radio into my apartment.” (Fein has an interest in radio, being the author of the guidebook “L.A. Musical History Tour.”)

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Anyway, he says, “sure enough when I got it, it had a tape deck, which I promptly threw away. The thieves intended to keep the car but parked carelessly in a street-sweeping space. I only wish they’d installed new tires.”

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Heavy lifting: That theft of the tank in San Diego the other day was not the first breach of security at a Southland National Guard facility this year. In January, a Glendale policeman pulled over a man in civilian clothes driving a Humvee. The jeep-style military vehicle belonged to a Glendale National Guard unit. The driver was arrested, even though he had an explanation.

He told the cop: “President Clinton gave it to me. . . . You do know who the President is.”

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Acting chicken: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) will visit the Farmers Market today at noon challenging passersby to trade places with a chicken and spend 15 minutes in a cramped cage. PETA, which claims that poultry are subjected to inhumane conditions, is observing National Egg Month (May) in its own way. The group says it recently challenged “five executives from the Pacific Egg and Poultry Assn. in Sacramento to spend 24 hours in a cramped cage for $5,000. But there were no takers.”

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L.A. landmarks (cont.): We’re still receiving mail about the Cecil Hotel, the Skid Row establishment on Main Street where serial killer Richard Ramirez spent his last days of freedom as did a recent escapee from the Peter Pitchess Honor Rancho.

“On Jan. 11, 1947, just three days before she was murdered, the Black Dahlia was seen in the bar in the Cecil Hotel with a girlfriend and two sailors,” writes Ken Schessler. He’s the author of “This is Hollywood,” a fun compendium of celebrity murder, suicide and grave sites.

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“In fact,” Schessler adds, “the hotel and the bars in the same block, including the Dugout next door, were some of Elizabeth Short’s favorite hangouts during the week before she was killed.”

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B.S. (Before Simpson): Anita Bennett of Temple City writes that her friend Jean Joelson recently moved back to Southern California. Among Joelson’s forwarded mail was the enclosed card from a Lexus dealer in Minnesota who seems to be familiar with one of L.A.’s criminal cases.

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Meeting of the minds: Our item about Rei, the Florida orangutan who reacted violently when he saw a tape of Simpson lawyer F. Lee Bailey, inspired a suggestion from one of our colleagues. “Why not have Bailey meet with Rei,” he said. “Then the two can hash out their problems in person--Marine to monkey.”

miscelLAny Dan Kaplowitz snapped a sign at the L.A. County coroner’s gift shop, which outlines the appropriate cash-checking policy at Skeletons in the Closet (as it’s named). What? A DNA match isn’t acceptable?

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