Comment Hits Hometown, and It Hits Back

Marc Lorber, formerly of Indianapolis, writes:

Are you nuts? Even printing that some nut thinks Sylmar a better place to live than Indianapolis is risking your life. Least penalty: You’re banned forever from the great Hoosier State. Worst: They send Bobby Knight out to L.A. to throw chairs at you. And the guy doesn’t miss, my friend.

“My friend,” indeed. First he questions my sanity. Then he pretends to care about my safety.

It’s the blame-the-messenger syndrome. Here I am, just a mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper trying to make an honest living, and I find myself under verbal attack from fans of Sylmar and Indianapolis.

Or, as Lorber calls it, “Naptown.”

As in, Sleepyville? Snoreburg?

Just wondering. Truth is, I’ve never been there, though I will be forever grateful that it hosts the Indianapolis 500. Were it not for the Indy 500, sports columnist Jim Murray could have never written this line:

“Gentlemen, start your coffins.”

All I did was to quote Stephen Green, editor of the 1995 California Political Almanac, who prefers Sylmar to Indianapolis. To Green, Sylmar is merely “seedy,” while Indiana’s great metropolis is “a hole.”

His words, not mine.

Truth is, I probably would have never known that the almanac makes a reference to “the seedy Sylmar area” had not Richard K. Yamauchi, a Sylmar accountant, sent The Times a copy of a letter he sent to Green threatening legal action over the slur. And Yamauchi wouldn’t have known if state Assemblyman Richard Katz (D-Sylmar) hadn’t angrily pointed it out at a Chamber of Commerce meeting.

All I did, per Yamauchi’s suggestion, was to solicit an apology from Green. He didn’t exactly apologize, but he conceded that Sylmar has its virtues and declared it preferable to the famous home of the Indianapolis 500. And, it should be noted, Green used to call Naptown home.

Civic pride is a glorious thing. It seems that just minutes after the Sunday paper arrived on the doorstep, readers were faxing and e-mailing their reactions.

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Bob DeVough writes:

As a Sylmar resident since 1989, I agree we are very seedy. Sylmar is so seedy, major corporations have chosen to do business here. Seedy corporations like Home Depot, Sams Club, Office Depot, Yum Yum Donuts, The Vons Company, Alpha Beta/Ralphs, Bank of America . . . and a host of unknown smaller companies, some of which are owned and operated by seedy Sylmar community residents.

We are a run-down, terribly boring community. When you drive down our seedy streets, there is no graffiti to read because the seedy Sylmar residents have gotten together, gotten involved and removed it--sometimes in the same day it rears its ugly head . . . .

Nothing compares to this terrible community. We have those pesky churches all over the place and cars with those ‘My child was an honor student at Sylmar High’ bumper stickers. Frankly all this community spirit is a pain in the neck.

What we really need is some abandoned commercial buildings covered in gang scrawlings, and a drug dealer on every corner, or maybe two. We could use some organized prostitution up here also, just for a little late-night excitement. And, we don’t have any adult book stores. Let’s open a few of those, too.

All of this, of course, is tongue in cheek . . . .

Oh.

It’s interesting to note the similar ways people express their civic pride.

Former Naptowners proudly boasted of the hometown university, David Letterman and Hebrew National hot dogs.

Sylmar residents boasted of Mission College and the boxing Ruelas brothers--either one of whom, it should be noted, could clobber Letterman. And though Sylmar can’t claim Farmer John--that’s in Vernon--DeVough says that you can’t find a better Philly cheese steak anywhere than the one served at the Old Fashioned Chili Burgers & Sandwich Shoppe.

Now, that is a bold statement. I’ve been to Philadelphia a few times, and will be visiting again shortly. As always, I will sample the cuisine. So I may just have to take the cheese steak challenge upon my return.

It happens that I heard from combatants Stephen Green and Richard K. Yamauchi since the article appeared. There was a curious symbiosis to their comments.

Yamauchi, for example, proudly noted that Sylmar is the home of the second-oldest cemetery in the San Fernando Valley. Green noted that, once upon at time, Sylmar’s medical facilities made it home to many, many tuberculosis sufferers. “The TB capital of California,” he called it.

Alas, there’s room for just one more letter.

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Les Brockmann of Reseda writes:

Are those guys nuts? OF COURSE Sylmar is seedy, parts of it anyway. Kind of like Reseda, where I live (which, however, has no horse properties that I am aware of, unless you count the lady with the pony ride that keeps getting shut down by the law, although that may be across the line into Northridge).

I knew Reseda was somewhat seedy before I bought my home here six years ago, and my opinion of it hasn’t improved with familiarity, but it was the best I could afford at the time. However, not all of Reseda is seedy, of course, e.g. my home.

I hope someday to be able to move to another more upscale community. But it probably won’t be Sylmar. Remember: His words, not mine.

Scott Harris’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays.