Talk about swing votesYou may recall that...
Talk about swing votes
You may recall that we learned from the Department of Motor Vehicles that it has issued a driver’s license to a Santa Monica man who lists his name as Jesus Christ. No middle initial. He has a perfect driving record (though we were a bit startled to learn that he has to wear glasses).
Anyway, with the election season coming up, we ran a check with the county registrar-recorder to see if this Jesus Christ is registered to vote. Oddly enough, we found two Jesus Christs listed in Santa Monica. Both are Democrats and they have nearly identical birth dates. It seems possible that they are the same person. Maybe the guy feels he deserves two votes with that name.
His status at the polls seems unfair, though, to an individual registered on Canyon Drive in Hollywood. This person only has one vote, though his name is listed as God.
God’s a Republican.
ANAGRAMS OF THE DAY: Some more civic scramblings:
--EAGLE ROCK=CORAL GEEK (Alan Jones).
--LANCASTER=NARC SLATE (Jim Ames)
--PALM DESERT=RAMS PELTED (Robert Summers).
NON-ANAGRAM OF THE DAY: “I don’t know what you call this,” said Bart Reed over the phone. “But you can contact the office of [Sen.] Jesse Helms [R-N.C.] by phoning (202) BAG OF GAS.”
ADMIRABLE HONESTY: A Northridge firm’s flyer pledges that it employs only “contentious” painters.
OOH L.A. L.A.: A Napoleon imitator and the Museum of Modern Poodle are among the incredible attractions at Oak Park’s French Festival Saturday and Sunday in Santa Barbara. And it won’t cost you a franc.
Organizer Steve Hoegerman admits he was lucky to find the ersatz Napoleon for the Bastille Day celebration.
“I was just looking for some French soldier imitators,” Hoegerman said. “I saw some Civil War imitators and they told me about the Napleonic Society of America. A lady in Palos Verdes put me in contact with Napoleon. He’s great. He walks around posing for pictures and scratching his belly.”
The curator of the poodle museum is L.A. artist Doren Garcia, who will arrive Sunday in a black Cadillac covered with poodle paraphernalia and loaded with poodle collectibles, such as poodle-shaped lamps and poodle-shaped golf club covers. No poodles, just merchandise.
There is, however, a live Poodle Parade Sunday evening at 5:30. Hoegerman expressed disappointment at the lack of colorful pooches entered so far. “I know there are painted poodles in L.A. and we hope some will come up,” he said. “I’d love to see one in blue, white and red--the colors of the French flag.”
THEY CAN DROOL AWAY, THOUGH: Speaking of the mutt world, we spotted an unusual prohibition scrawled on a parking barrier in a Long Beach mini-mall (see photo). It seems a reasonable rule, though we find malfunctioning car alarms more of a nuisance.
MYSTERY OF THE DAY: A new billboard around town says, “RESIST SATAN.” We’ll tell you more about it in Saturday’s column. We can think of a couple of voters in Santa Monica and Hollywood who would be especially interested.
miscelLAny Among the locals honored in the 1995 Guinness Book of World Records was Charles J. Odenbrett of Gardena, who “had a collection of 4,538 belt buckles as of March 11, 1994.”