The Fax of the Case May Be Simple, but a Solution Isn’t
You talk about prophetic reporting: “If you have a personal computer, chances are that Bill Gates and Microsoft Corp. are already a part of your life.”
That was the first sentence of a Times article from March of 1994, and, boy, can Richard and Nancy Blumenthal of Westminster add an “amen” to that.
It’s just that the Blumenthals were under the assumption that having Bill Gates’ company as a house guest was voluntary. Little did they know that once Microsoft, the billion-dollar success story of the computer age, takes a liking to you, it may never leave.
The adventure, the Blumenthals say, began more than a year ago when their home fax machine churned out a transmission from Microsoft. Then, a couple weeks later, another. Then another. And another. The transmissions, Richard Blumenthal says, included “exciting news and information regarding Microsoft products, seminars, breakfasts, and sales presentations.”
They’re meant for Microsoft’s vast network of customers. The Blumenthals, however, are not Microsoft customers and, more to the point, the faxes were all addressed by name to someone else.
Ah, you say. Simply notify the company of the error and be done with it. That is where the adventure really picks up, because after several months of trying, the Blumenthals still can’t shake the Microsoft hold.
Their efforts to do so have sparked a series of letters from Blumenthal, all dryly humorous but barely masking exasperation. I can’t do his pen justice in this short space, but here’s an excerpt from his letter to the company dated June 15:
“Most recently I spoke with a very pleasant representative (‘customer relations engineer?’) of your customer service department whom I will hereafter identify as “Microsoft Bob,” in order to prevent him from becoming the scapegoat. I informed Microsoft Bob that I had just received two separate transmissions on May 26. . . . Microsoft Bob graciously (and enthusiastically) promised that he would take care of the problem forthwith. Guess what? Two days ago, we received another facsimile transmission urging Mr. M (the intended recipient) to take advantage of a great opportunity and learn more about Windows 95 by attending the Microsoft Windows 95 Consulting Forum on June 22 at the Irvine Marriott.”
As the faxes continued showing up (the Blumenthals estimate about 20 altogether), Blumenthal wrote again two weeks ago to Cindy Ranz, at the company’s Redmond, Wash., office: “Dear Ms. Ranz, I recently received a telephone message that you have been appointed as my newest Microsoft Solution Provider and that you will be trying to take care of my problem. . . . Finally, the message indicated I should call you if I continue to receive erroneous transmissions. Your timing could not have been better! Awaiting me when I returned home was yet another facsimile. . . . Per your instructions, I have enclosed a complete copy of that three-page transmission regarding ‘Tech Breakfast Forum’ held in Irvine on July 7.”
Blumenthal says he’s received one written response from Microsoft, which arrived about 20 days ago and said, “Richard, Thank you for your patience with our system,” and was signed by a Microsoft representative in Irvine.
The Blumenthals are trying to be good sports about it.
“They’ve got an erroneous number and erroneous person in their system, and the thrust of it is that the biggest software company in the world can’t delete a phone number from their database,” Richard Blumenthal told me last week.
The Blumenthals have tracked the intended recipient, a former computer store owner, to Riverside, but all efforts to reroute Microsoft transmissions to him have failed.
I contacted Bryan Watson, a Microsoft official in Santa Monica, and explained the Blumenthals’ problem. He hadn’t heard of it before and reacted pleasantly and not the least bit defensively.
“I don’t have an explanation for why they can’t just turn it off,” he said of the company’s failed efforts to delete the wrong number. “It’s a simple matter of finding the name in the database and clicking a check box that says delete. It’s hard for me to imagine why we can’t just delete him.”
In that regard, he and the Blumenthals are on exactly the same wavelength.
On Friday, Richard Blumenthal updated me. “My suggestion today is that they hire Kevin Mitnick. He’s the world’s most notorious computer hacker who was captured in North Carolina in February. He’s in custody, but this kid’s a whiz and can break into any system, no matter what the security. He could do it. He could go in there and delete the number.”
In a letter dated Friday, Blumenthal suggests just that, proposing to a Microsoft official that the company “retain Mitnick as a ‘temporary solution provider.’ ”
Needless to say, Blumenthal says, he awaits the company’s reply.
Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.
