Martha’s Vineyard of Knowledge : HOW TO NOT MOCK IT ‘TIL YOU’VE TRIED IT (STEWART LIVING, THAT IS)

Whatever did we do pre-Martha Stewart? (hereafter referred to as P.M.S.)

Did we actually use regular ice cubes in our iced coffee and tea rather than freeze coffee and tea in ice trays (so the ice doesn’t turn the drink watery)?

Did we not realize that marigolds like to be planted near cabbages?

Did we keep our sugar in pots that were too narrow to slip the measuring cup right in?

These are just a few tips picked up in one “Martha Stewart Living” program on Lifetime. The channel is rerunning the first season of Stewart’s syndicated (and recently Emmy Award-winning) television series (running Mondays through Saturdays twice a day through the summer). One does walk away with the feeling that life P.M.S. must have been downright flowerless, colorless and sprigless.

As most everyone knows by now, Stewart--think Diane Sawyer meets compost--has become much more than just an expert on lifestyle. Aside from the cable television show, there is the magazine (with some 1.2 million devotees), the 13 books, the six instructional videos, the regular segments to the “Today Show”--not to mention millions of Martha wanna-bes out there who dote on her every detail.

She has reached that level of success--call it iconhood--where her impact is being seriously analyzed, her business acumen dissected. Perhaps most importantly, she’s even being parodied: performance artist Karen Finley has a segment in her show imitating a clear Martha type. (How to make your own depression room, how to give a divorce party, etc.)

So has success spoiled the real Martha Stewart, who still tries, in her chic khaki and denim, to come across as, well, the girl [in the $2-million house] next door. As obsessive as she is about things most of us would never consider--like shampooing our chickens or buying baskets that stand on a stick so we don’t have to lean down to pick our poppies--she purports to be like the rest of us. (“If I do it by hand, mine always come out lumpy,” she says while electrically mixing butter and sugar.)

Obviously, everything with Martha Stewart by now is calculated, but so what? That she is a human machine is apparent just trying to get an interview with her. A small portion of time is all one can get and that must be scheduled far weeks in advance. Her assistants load you with material so as not to “waste” Martha’s time with unnecessary questions.

Still, once the statuesque lady herself appears, dressed in a short skirt and long white silk blouse, hair askew, she is pretty much as she appears on television and on all those covers. And she insists she has evolved, rather than been changed by, success.

“I’m still just Martha to my fans,” she says, sitting down at a conference table inside the Manhattan high-rise where her magazine and show are produced. (Though the programs are all taped at her home in Westport, Conn.) “People are very supportive and even curious about my success, and they seem to like seeing me on magazine covers. In fact, when I take myself off the cover of my own magazine, they write in and ask, ‘Where’s Martha?’ ”

There is self-esteem aplenty here, and even she admits that giving up control--”When I started I did everything myself, remember?”--is probably her most difficult challenge. Indeed, employees seem to hold their breath when she’s around and it isn’t but three minutes into an interview that she spots the vase filled with fresh flowers atop the table: “There’s one sweet pea sticking out of there. I noticed it this morning,” she says coolly. Someone in the room quickly fixes the slightly imperfect arrangement. Later, she asks that a video be put on showing her new commercials. When the tape doesn’t work, the room becomes silent, everyone awaiting Martha’s response. Finally, she says, “Get rid of it,” and another is quickly brought in. The tension this time is thick enough to cut with one of her gardening tools. (Fortunately, the tape works.)

“I have a lot of things to get done in a day,” she says, giving new meaning to understatement. “So I have to rely on people. It’s a matter of trust and balance and deployment of resources. I’m learning to delegate, but I feel very responsible because all these things have my name and face on them.”

And there are yet more avenues for the name and face. Lifetime viewers are just now being introduced to Martha by Mail, products she designs herself that can be mail-ordered (a cake decorating kit, cookie-cutter box). A new book, “A Hand Made Christmas,” will be out this summer and she’s hoping to have a network Christmas special as well.

Lifetime is now reviewing its relationship with Stewart, though Doug McCormick, president and CEO of the channel, says the show is performing nicely so far.

“She’s the master of the one-on-one connection,” says McCormick, who, however, seems to have some tentativeness. “As an individual she’s delightful and she’s one of the preeminent marketeers in America.” When asked if she’s easy to work with, he quickly adds, “I didn’t say ‘easy,’ but I’d frankly rather work with someone who’s forthright and smart.”

Going prime time is clearly a goal for Stewart. When she’s asked why she still bothers doing regular “Today Show” segments, she responds, “I asked some people at a party how often they thought I was on and they said twice a week,” she explains. “And yet it’s maybe once a week at the most. That’s the power of the ‘Today Show,’ the perception of regularity.”

Although her own syndicated show reaches 95% of the country, she tends to see the 5% left out, something Lifetime now covers. “It’s all about expanding the audience,” she notes. She says she took to TV immediately after doing a Thanksgiving show for PBS seven years ago.

“I knew I liked the medium and that show set a standard of ‘how to’ for me. It was beautiful, informative and had ideas people still talk about.” (Did we stuff sage under the turkey skin P.M.S.?)

Clearly, she thinks in a way--and has the resources--that most of us never will. (“I just pick up my cordless drill...”) But many seem to like just visiting or fantasizing: “The show is really about kicking back and getting an invitation into Martha’s world,” says her producer, Leslie McNeil. “The show isn’t a mandate. You can do some things now, some later.”

Martha Stewart’s view of her own contribution? “Leaving a library of evergreen information,” she says. “I’d like to look back and say I helped preserve a tremendous amount of heritage and tradition.”

Stewart claims her own drive stems from being part of a family where everything became sort of a contest. “If we were picking berries, it became who could pick the most or the best berries,” she says. Stewart claims that now she is capable of kicking back and relaxing. “Hey,” she says, “happiness is a bowl of raisin bran in the morning.”

But the verve seems mostly nonstop. She just purchased a second home in East Hampton for about $3 million and is already salivating about its near-total redesign. When her publicist was married recently, Stewart not only made the wedding bouquet but was downright rapturous about having discovered some obscure ribbon in a tiny store in San Francisco. Ah, well.

While tradition still seems the word most often applied to Stewart’s taste and style, she insists she’s very much of this time and age, in fact in its forefront. “Everything we do on the shows and magazine is cutting edge,” she insists. “We have the best people who have the latest techniques,” And don’t be surprised to find Martha Stewart in that Super Information Garden: “We’re definitely exploring all the interesting avenues,” she says.

Meanwhile, the ideas will keep coming. Has she ever thought of creating beauty products, for example? The reply is without pause. “I’ve got the whole line ready to go.”

“Martha Stewart Living” airs WHEN WHEN Monday-Saturday on Lifetime.