Multicultural Manners : A Cyber-Friendship Brings a Gift Dilemma

A computer bulletin-board friendship evolves between Sara and John. After a year of electronic correspondence, John invites Sara to attend his ordination as a Catholic deacon. Sara feels honored by the invitation, but since she is Jewish she doesn’t know what would be an appropriate gift.

What should she do?

When in doubt, ask an insider what gift might be appreciated. Sara phoned Lucia, a friend who belonged to a Catholic community. Lucia suggested a beautiful candle symbolizing light and enlightenment. When John received the gift, he was thrilled by such a seemly choice.

Louise faced a similar dilemma over a gift for a Chinese wedding. She phoned a Chinese friend, Emma, for guidance. Emma warned against giving a clock or anything with the number four, such as a set of four objects, because the number is a death omen. Other negative gifts are objects that cut, like knives or scissors.

Aside from these taboos, typical American wedding gifts are fitting for Chinese weddings, as well.

Furthermore, Emma alerted Louise to a popular Chinese wedding reception custom when the bride moves from table to table serving tea to her guests. After guests sip the tea, they return the cups with a red envelope containing money, often just a dollar bill.