A Close- Up Look At People Who Matter : Quadriplegic Grateful for a Charmed Life

For the past two decades, Kirk Kilgour has been a coach, a consultant, an actor, a writer, a sports broadcaster, and confined to a wheelchair because of a broken neck.

“I’ve lived a charmed life,” said Kilgour, 47, of Van Nuys, a former U.S. Olympian and volleyball champion. “I know how to be happy. I’m very rarely low.”

Kilgour grew up in Manhattan Beach, where for years his biggest worry was about surfing. He led UCLA to two NCAA volleyball championships and played on the U.S. Olympic Volleyball Team before breaking his neck in Italy in 1976 while demonstrating a dive.

The first night he was lucid enough to realize he was going to be a quadriplegic for the rest of his life, he cried.

Then, he was through with feeling sorry for himself, he said.

“I love life, and I’m not going to waste a minute of it being bitter about it,” Kilgour said. He describes himself as naturally optimistic, but he also got help from the Independent Living Center of Southern California in Van Nuys.

“When you break your neck, there is a huge assault on who you are,” Kilgour said. “The center helps you to learn you are still who you are. It has taught me more than I could have hoped to learn.”

Kilgour started volunteering 10 years ago, helping to reshape the image of people with disabilities through public speaking, said Norma Vescovo, executive director of the center. He was president of the center’s board of directors for four years, resigning last year.

“He makes people feel at ease in talking with him about disabilities,” Vescovo said. “So many people with disabilities will go out and will only attract pity. When he speaks out, he’s intelligent and he is able to joke about it, but he doesn’t make people feel uncomfortable.”

For example, Kilgour said that before his accident, he used to bite his fingernails, but “I found a way to break that habit.”

His status as a former Olympian, coach and broadcaster helps open doors to discuss disabilities with corporations and other groups. He has loaned his name to causes and spoken out at hearings. But, he does not describe himself as an advocate.

“I love speaking, and it’s something I do well,” Kilgour said. “I wouldn’t be so bold as to say I turn people around. But after I speak, at least they’re more open to discussing it with understanding.”

Vescovo was impressed from the first time she heard Kilgour speak, at a fund-raiser for the hearing-impaired. “He was so matter-of-fact, and very strong on communication,” she said. “He knew what he was doing and yet was very humble.”

The Independent Living Center has established a creative arts program, with acting classes, at the urging of Kilgour, who has also written for and performed on the stage. “It’s primarily to help people with communicating and socialization skills,” Vescovo said. The program was one of the reasons Kilgour won the Golden Rule Award for volunteerism in May.

But Kilgour said he wants to open up avenues into Hollywood for the disabled, and has set up a production company with a writing partner.

And, Kilgour understands how to be happy because he sees everyday worries from a perspective few can.

“I’ve laid in bed near death,” Kilgour said. “That’s pressure. This is life. This is fun.”

Personal Best is a weekly profile of an ordinary person who does extraordinary things. Please address prospective candidates to Personal Best, Los Angeles Times, 20000 Prairie St., Chatsworth 91311. Or fax them to (818) 772-3338