Sharing the Grief : Young Survivors Reach for Support in Coping With Violence, Death

Dee Summer Blow spent much of Thursday soothing and cradling her month-old daughter as she went about the business of preparing to bury her baby’s father.

She had to stop by the coroner’s office to gather his personal belongings. There were mortuary arrangements to check, family to visit and burial clothes to buy.

Finally, she had to figure out how to pay for it all.

Blow’s boyfriend--and the baby’s father--Narciso Gurrola, 20, of Tarzana was gunned down Monday night on Hart Street in Reseda in a gang-style double killing that also claimed the life of Maria Ortega, 17, of Reseda.

“What am I going to tell her?” Blow, 18, said as she looked at the baby, Andrea Johanna Gurrola.

Those who knew Gurrola and Ortega have spent the past several days giving comfort to each other, sharing their grief that at times seemed unbearable.

But as time passes, say experts in violent crime, the emotional support provided by the young people now surrounding Blow and her baby will taper off, leaving her feeling abandoned and alone.

For Blow, there were more immediate worries.

Making sure Gurrola rests in peace was going to cost nearly $4,000--cash neither she nor his family has. Blow graduated from a continuation high school in June but took no job this summer because Gurrola wanted her home to raise their baby.

So, in addition to money coming from family and friends, she hopes to raise the needed cash from a carwash planned Saturday outside a sandwich shop on Reseda Boulevard near Bassett Street.

Gurrola’s brother, Rudy, and a family friend, Philip Montifortez, both 18, were among those comforting Blow.

The teen-agers had already completed their own memorial to Gurrola--tattoos reading “In loving memory of Narciso Jr” written into their skin.

“I feel empty,” Rudy Gurrola said, his eyes filling with tears. “I used to think I had a lot of problems before, but nothing compares to this.”

Occasionally, the sadness was relieved with memories of Gurrola, who was known for being clumsy and making others laugh.

Los Angeles police said Narciso Gurrola and Ortega were fatally shot outside a friend’s house after being approached by two unknown men. Their attackers were probably from a rival gang, police said. Gurrola’s family and friends said he was not spending time with gang members because he was too busy working two jobs to support his young family. They called the shooting an ambush.

“All Narc did was stand in the street,” Montifortez said. “He thought it was one of his friends.”

A friend of Ortega said she was a private person who spent most of her time working at a local grocery store or staying home.

“She was a good person,” said the woman, who wanted to be identified only as Ortega’s close friend. “It’s just sad the way she had to die. She was really innocent.”

Across the Valley, there were other families in grief this week.

In a separate shooting early Sunday, Jesus Obeso, 18, of North Hills was fatally wounded while riding in a car near Gladstone Avenue and Hubbard Street in Sylmar. Obeso was shot in the head by a gunman in a minivan, police said.

Obeso’s sister, Merit, 19, said her brother was not a gang member. Jesus Obeso worked occasional construction jobs while looking for permanent employment and had hoped to become a contractor, she said.

Among those left behind were Obeso’s girlfriend, Susy, and their 5-month-old daughter, Corine.

“He was a good kid,” Merit Obeso said.

Police said there were no arrests Thursday in the Gurrola, Ortega and Obeso shootings.

As the days pass, surviving relatives and close friends now huddling for comfort are more likely to suffer their pain alone, returning to their separate lives, said Patricia O’Donnell Brummett, an assistant professor of sociology at Cal State Northridge who specializes in the study of violent crime.

“When the shock and the anger wear off, the family often is left alone,” O’Donnell Brummett said. “The family can tend to be abandoned.”