Ties Unbroken : Two Orange County couples became friends in 1952 when their children were in the first grade. They’ve been together for four decades of milestones, so it’s only fitting that they celebrate their 50th wedding anniversaries together.

The marriages of the Naughtons and Speers and the friendship between the two couples have gone on so long now it seems they must know everything about one another.

But not quite.

Just the other day, during an interview for this story, the Naughtons finally got around to learning Don Speer was not a native Californian.

“Well, I was only 3 when we left Nebraska,” Don says.

Such revelations are the exception for Jean and Tom Naughton of Newport Beach and Don and Monell Speer of Irvine.

Their marriages have each lasted five decades.

Their friendship has grown for more than 40 years.

Quite simply, this foursome has bucked a lot of trends. They have succeeded in holding on where so many others have let go.

Their friendship has taken them through the gamut of life experiences. They have celebrated--and mourned--together. They have raised among them five children, seen their children marry, divorce, have children of their own.

Each of the four brings to the friendship a distinct personality. Jean is the organizer, Tom the thinker who figures it all out. Monell is game for anything, Don the quiet observer who, when he speaks, speaks volumes.

Longevity runs in these families: Among the guests at the couples’ combined 50th wedding anniversary party were the mothers of Tom, Don and Monell--all in their 90s.

The party with 125 guests was jointly hosted by the Naughton and Speer children and grandchildren. “We all knew everybody,” Jean says. “We each have our own friends, and we have mutual friends and of course we know each other’s families.”

Relaxing in the Naughtons’ family room, the four tell good-natured stories about one another like little kids tattling on siblings.

How have they all managed to get along so well for so long?

“Parties,” Tom says, and they all laugh.

The Naughtons do love to give parties--and they managed early on to get the Speers to see the value in social celebrations too.

Shortly after the couples met, the Naughtons invited the Speers to a gathering. But the Speers more or less declined--Don had never been much for parties. “Then about an hour into the party Jean called and asked if we were coming,” Monell recalls. “I said no, Don was already in bed and she said ‘Well tell him to get up ‘cause we’re coming to get you.’ They did.”

Since then, Don has not missed a party.

While the couples have much in common, each is distinct too.

The Speers love to travel; the Naughtons prefer to stay close to home. Monell enjoys anything outdoors or sports oriented; Jean would rather cook a big dinner.

“That’s the thing. We are all so different, and we just accept that,” Monell says. “We know each other’s peculiarities, and we all accept them.”

*

The couples married--in California and Texas--in October 1945. The Speers were high school sweethearts from Venice; the Naughtons met in Corpus Christi, where Jean was working and Tom was in flight training.

When they married, both women were 18 and the men 20--and in the military. At the time, males had to be 21 to marry without parental approval, so both men had to have their mothers with them to draw the marriage licenses.

Eventually, both couples settled in Reseda and went to work.

In 1953, when their two oldest children entered first grade, the Naughtons and Speers met at a paper drive. The two families quickly became close friends. “Once we all met and the children became friends, we became one big family,” Jean says.

“Like all young couples, Don and I did not have a lot of money,” Monell says. “But we decided to put in a pool because I loved to swim, and we thought it was the best thing for our kids.”

“We lived on the south side of Van Owen,” Jean says. “I had a fireplace and a bath and a half, but they had the swimming pool.”

“And one bath,” says Monell.

Every Sunday in those early days the Naughtons would spend the day by the Speers’ pool with all the kids and the Speers’ parents.

As a treat one day, the men went off and bought an ice cream freezer. “We told them just to buy a quart size, but they came home with a gallon-sized freezer, and you know we wore the teeth right off that thing,” Monell says.

There were moves to bigger houses and new neighborhoods. But no matter how far they moved--and for the most part they were never more than 10 miles apart--they remained close friends.

In 1969 the Naughtons moved to Orange County when Tom was transferred. The new distance was not daunting to the friendship: “We drove, a lot, and we were on the phone a lot,” Jean says.

When Monell retired in 1985, she decided she wanted to move to Orange County to be near the Naughtons and her daughter, who was also living here. “At the time the only one that was out of pocket was Don,” Monell says. “And we convinced him that 15 minutes more to his drive [to work] wouldn’t matter.”

“Half hour more,” Don deadpans.

Although none of the four worked together, their workplaces helped set the stage for their lifelong friendship, the couples say.

“At the time we started our careers, you went to work for a company and you worked for that company your entire life,” Monell says. “We worked our way up to the top jobs; now you have to change companies [and, often, cities] every five years to get ahead.”

Tom worked 40 years putting soundtracks onto films for Metro Goldwyn Mayer. Monell was a controller for Safeway supermarkets for 30 years. Don was an aeronautics engineer at McDonnell Douglas for 40 years.

That stability in their work was an important foundation for the bond that grew between the families, they say.

When the children were all small--the Speers have a son and daughter, the Naughtons had two sons and a daughter--Don worked nights and Tom worked days, so there was always a dad around to lend a hand.

“Our children still are just like brother and sister,” Jean says. “They all protect Dana cause she’s the youngest and was everybody’s baby.”

The baby will be 41 in February.

No matter what the situation or crisis, the families have always supported one another, they say.

“Our kids have always known if we’re not available--and we often haven’t been with our traveling--they could call Tom and Jean,” Monell says.

“That’s part of our longevity, if you will,” she says. “Even the children can always count on support from all of us. We are family.”

A few years ago, the families realized that the connections between them began a whole generation earlier in Texas: An aunt of Monell’s was responsible for introducing the man and woman who would become Jean’s parents.

“It so happens that her aunt had invited my father to the house to meet my mother’s sister,” Jean says. “And she had another date so he met my mother. So Aunt May actually introduced my mother and dad.”

“This we didn’t know for 40 years,” Monell adds.

*

All along the way, the families have made a point of celebrating important events together--everything from their children’s weddings to a rock band performance by two of the Naughtons granddaughters.

Among the attendees at the band’s recent gig at a club in San Juan Capistrano were the Naughtons, their children, the Speers and their children and a few grandchildren. “The music was so loud we all had to wear earplugs,” Jean says.

But it wasn’t a problem. Few things between these two couples are. And the things that have been have been worked through.

“We talk about everything, but also we agree on most things,” Monell says. “If we don’t, we still talk about it. And there’s never any blood shed as yet.”

Jean likens nurturing a successful friendship to nurturing a successful marriage. “The way I feel about it is, if there’s two pieces of a pie and one’s larger, you give your spouse the larger piece.”

Says Monell: “We’ve never had to work at staying friends; it’s just a natural thing.”