Is Prozac the Only Answer for GOP?

Talk about a bummer! Can you imagine how the Republicans must feel at this, the beginning of the most important election year in decades? Pass the Prozac, please.

After all, they had a revolution right? They took over Congress, both houses, right? They had their beloved “contract with America” that everybody loved, right? All they needed was a Republican president to finish the battle and send the Democrats to the dungeons, right? Wrong.

Herewith, the state of the GOP Elephant at the new year. Their contract is in shambles; their spiritual leader, House Speaker Newt Gingrich of Georgia, is neck and neck with used car salesmen in the polls; their Republican Congress is the least effective Congress in terms of legislative achievement since 1933, and their presidential field is beginning to make the ’88 Democratic field (remember Michael S. Dukakis and the seven dwarfs?) look like towering historical figures.

GOP Chairman Haley Barbour must be an expert on manic depression. Can you imagine going from the high of winning the Congress back after 40 years and, on the same watch, see so much potential blown away? How about the high from seeing all parts of the “contract with America” pass the House in 100 days, to the low of seeing all but two meaningless parts crash and burn in the mortuary known as the U.S. Senate. And how ‘bout that high when you thought Colin L. Powell would enter the GOP presidential field, to the low of watching the current group of contenders stand in a circular firing squad--killing not only each other but a potentially powerful political issue: the flat tax.

You must have felt pride at seeing the much maligned Gingrich on the cover of Time as “Man of the Year” and then to see the next GOP pooh-bah on Time’s cover be that geek, Steve Forbes. Haley, old friend, take a few stiff ones and go to the Caribbean--no one would blame you.

I have been around the business of politics for more than two decades and, better than most, I know all this could change. But it is such a dramatic reversal for the GOP that it deserves an attempt to answer the question: What happened?

*First and foremost, the Republicans dreadfully misread the ’94 election results. They weren’t about any contract; hell, no one knew there was a contract except Gingrich and his frosh storm troopers. It was about sending the Democrats a message.

*When the “contract with America” was finally on the public radar screen in early 1995, the headlines were great. Who wouldn’t love a balanced budget, or term limits? But like the 10 Commandments, liking the way they read and practicing what they say are two different things. When the public saw what they needed to do if the contract became law, they stopped, thought and began to pray President Bill Clinton’s veto pen wouldn’t run dry.

*By drastically restructuring Medicare and Medicaid to reach their cherished seven-year balanced budget, the GOP forgot recent history. As the Clintons learned, change the American health care system at your own risk. The other lesson: Don’t ever give the other party Social Security or Medicare as an issue. Give thine enemies that sword, and they shall use it to off thy political heads.

*The GOP leadership on the whole is, well, sour. Gingrich, Dick Armey (Texas), Bob Dole, John A. Boehner--they all must have lost their ability to smile at birth. They all look like they’ve come back from a weekend camping trip where it snowed the whole time. Even their best faces--Susan Molinari, Trent Lott, J.C. Watts, John McCain, Haley Barbour--can’t help these guys.

*This is a moderate country that does see some role for government. The far right’s capture of the GOP makes many Americans nervous. When they see a press conference of the leaders of right-wing organizations, they see it as a casting call for “The Night of the Living Dead!” Try as they might, moderate Republicans cannot erase this image for the simple reason that the right now is the Republican Party. They are seen as intolerant people who are moral interventionists. The only thing the majority of Americans hate more than too much government intervention is moral intervention. This is a substantial problem.

*Finally, until the State of the Union, the Elephant terribly underestimated Clinton’s talents and depth of desire to be reelected. He’s wanted that job ever since he shook hands with President John F. Kennedy in the Rose Garden. That was 34 years ago--before some of these right-wing baby elephants were born. You guys are up against the best campaigner since Ronald Reagan and look at who you have to run against him--MTV Dole, Cultural War Pat, Stevey with the Rich Daddy or how about my favorite, ET’s (remember the movie?) granddaddy, Phil Gramm.

Yes, I feel good going into this big show. You Republicans, take another Prozac. Maybe it’ll get better. *