Prospect of More Concealed Guns Just Blows Him Away

In 1960, the three top-rated TV shows were “Gunsmoke,” “Wagon Train” and “Have Gun, Will Travel.” Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, compliments of the California Retro-Assembly, which last week passed a bill making it easier for the average citizen to carry a concealed weapon, just like real gunslingers. Wearing a cowboy hat is optional.

The same political crowd that believes the liberal media glorify violence wants to make it easier for your slightly erratic and chronically irritable Uncle Fred to carry a gun. Yep, that’s right--the same guy you don’t trust to cut the Christmas turkey now can pack iron. As long as ol’ Fred doesn’t have a criminal record or mental instability and can pass gun-education class, he could pack a gun.

Think about that for a minute as you pack for Canada.

Why do I picture an entire generation of people never venturing outside the house after 7 p.m.? It’s bad enough nowadays worrying about criminals being out at night. Now, you’ll have to worry about non-criminals too. “Shoot-out in the Express Lane at Ralphs! Film at 11.”

Yes, I understand the arguments in favor. The idea is that armed criminals will think twice if they suspect their intended victim has firepower on hand. Or that nice guys with guns will be able to thwart crimes-in-the-making if they come upon them in public.

I’m sure each of those scenarios will occur, once every blue moon. Or would they? I’ve never been robbed at gunpoint, but does the robber first come up and engage you in chatter before pulling his gun? I had the impression they approach with gun already drawn, thereby making the gun you may have tucked away in your pocket somewhat useless.

As for the second scenario, I’m trying to recall the number of times I’ve stumbled upon a crime in progress. The only ones I can think of involve people yakking in theaters and, yes, a snub-nosed .38 would have come in handy on each occasion.

Much more likely is that the bill will produce a new flock of jailbirds who lost their cool and let their gun do their talking. Why punch a sidewinder in the nose when you can pump him full of lead?

I went to a meeting recently where Buena Park Police Chief Richard Tefank decried this bill which, by the way, is AB 638. Tefank is a white-haired veteran of 27 years in police work and has been chief in Buena Park since 1989.

Speaking to a friendly audience of gun-control advocates, Tefank raised a few troubling scenarios. I thought of another half-dozen even as he was speaking.

Noting that police officers train extensively throughout the year with guns, Tefank said that life-and-death situations reduce their firing accuracy to around 20% to 30%. Tefank then asked rhetorically what the average citizen would do when the abstract became the reality and he drew his gun--with his heart rate speeded up and being both nervous and scared. “I just do not believe that an armed public is a safer public,” Tefank said.

The overwhelming logic of that remark makes you wonder what the Assembly is thinking. The best I can come up with is that desperate people do desperate things--and that trying to get a handle on crime has made us desperate.

In a way, it’s good that the Republican majority in the Assembly (with help from three Democrats) passed AB 638. It shows the people of California that conservatism as defined in the Assembly is a fuller package than just being pro-business and antitax. It gives citizens a chance to say if this is the direction they want their state to go.

It reminds me of a line from syndicated newspaper columnist Mike Royko, who asked why we should limit ourselves to handguns for self-protection. Citing his own situation, Royko argued for legalizing hand grenades--on the grounds that he had bad eyesight.

I guess this isn’t funny, though. The feeling seems to be that we have to do something with the incorrigibles in our midst. We all want to feel empowered, to use the catch phrase of the day, and carrying a gun probably does that. Ask the 13-year-olds who do it today.

Sure, there are plenty of varmints and jaspers out there who we’d love to cut down to size. It’d be great if every one of us who got a gun permit would have the temperament, not to mention the quick draw, of Marshal Dillon.

But as Chief Tefank challenged his audience on that recent night: Think of the people you know who are neither felons nor mentally impaired. Would you want them carrying guns under their coats?

Maybe our legislators can’t make things better. A lot of us accept that and don’t hold it against them. What we demand of them, though, is that they not make things worse.

Turning California into a Wild West theme park, with real bullets, is not my idea of progress.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.