Tricky flicks:We’ve accused local movie marquees of...

Tricky flicks:

We’ve accused local movie marquees of conspiring against Bill Clinton, with such displays as WILD BILL / AMERICAN PRESIDENT and AMERICAN PRES / EXHALE.

But Hank Rosenfeld found that Democrats aren’t the only targets. Above an escalator leading to the downstairs screens in a Santa Monica multiplex, he recently spotted these words:

NIXON

DEAD AND LOVING IT

LOWER LEVEL

THOSE FLOWERY REAL ESTATE ADS: There are some especially enticing descriptions in a booklet announcing a public land auction to be held March 16 at the L.A. Convention Center. See if you could resist any of the selling points of these properties:

* “Strategic location in the golden triangle between Victorville, Barstow, National Trails Hwy. and Interstate 15.”

* “Nice four-bedroom home next door.”

* “This prime property may be suitable for jojoba bean plants, used for cosmetic and energy products.”

* “Close to the Chambless Roadside Restaurant on Hwy. 66, and the Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railroad line is to the S.”

And, finally, this cheery note about some Palmdale acreage:

* “Ave. O just N is a paved E/W thoroughfare of the Antelope Valley.”

OH, DON’T GO FLY A KITE: An L.A. County sheriff’s helicopter buzzed a Lakewood neighborhood to warn some kids that they were interfering with takeoffs from Long Beach Airport. A deputy yelled into a microphone: “Keep your kite below 300 feet.”

The airport, by the way, is a bit southwest of the golden triangle of Long Beach, Lakewood and Hawaiian Gardens.

EDUCATORS TAKING NO CHANCES: Considering the state of our schools, principals need to be able to defend themselves, as the accompanying statement from the San Pedro YMCA makes clear. We’ve never associated judo with Christianity before but, heck, if the combination works, let’s go with it.

WIN ONE FOR THE SHREDDER: Government records show that a $750 contribution was made to the Riordan for Mayor ’97 campaign by the Bonded Document Destruction Co. of Rancho Dominguez.

TICKET INSURANCE: Just to show you that urban folk tales aren’t a new phenomenon, we found this one in Gene Sherman’s Cityside column in The Times in 1954:

A motorist heading for the Colorado River picked up a hitchhiker and asked him what he did for a living. “I’m a pickpocket,” the young man said, which disturbed the driver so much that he began speeding in hopes of attracting a cop.

Sure enough, he was pulled over, at which time he whispered to the officer about his passenger. The cop said it was the worst excuse he’d ever heard and wrote out the ticket. The hitchhiker then climbed out of the car and began arguing with the cop.

The motorist, heartened by the hitchhiker’s support, agreed to take him a bit farther. When they reached Indio, the passenger said, “By the way, I’ve got something for you.” And he handed the driver the cop’s citation book. The hitchhiker turned out to be a young magician on his way to a nightclub engagement in Arizona.

Hmmm. Even after all these years, that tale seems as tall as ever.

miscelLAny:

For your diversity-in-dining file: Luigi’s Pizza in Highland Park now offers El Pollo Luigi.

YMCA mission: school principals who believe in an eye for an eye?